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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more businesses, as well as individuals, are choosing to communicate either professionally or socially using technology rather than face-to face. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In modern societies, there are numerous businesses or individuals that have significant chances to apply technology in
communication
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. People hold various views about using
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internet
Add an article
the internet
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 as a means of
communication
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 compared to engaging in face-to-face interactions through diversity cooperation.
While
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 there are a number of beneficial aspects to communicating online, I believe that interacting in reality is more beneficial. On the one hand, there are several reasons to explain why
this
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 trend has advantages. One of them is connected via the
internet
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, which allows abundant companies to break down geographical barriers. In
this
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 day and age, with the development of technology,
instead
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 of travelling for 1000 kilometres to meet and connect with partners, humans can easily do all tasks through applications
such
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 as Zoom and Google Meet. From there, time and a number of other elements could be saved in order to use money for different purposes.
However
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, from my point of view,
this
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 trend has some adverse effects. First and foremost, using
communication
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 via the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 has some potential risks. In fact, on the
internet
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, humans can contact any person without knowing them in reality, and vice versa. For that reason, people can be easily scammed by anyone on social media,
for instance
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, by losing confidential company documents.
In addition
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,
according to
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 a number of research papers and doctors, working through screens
in the long run
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, in the long run,
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 will have a significant influence on the physical health of employees, especially eye disease, including nearsightedness, eye pain, and longsightedness. All the downsides of
this
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 phenomenon lead to poor productivity. In summary,
it is clear that
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 companies or individuals should be aware of both the positive and negative consequences of the trend of taking advantage of using technology as a means of 
communication
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.

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coherence cohesion
You should ensure that your essay has a clear and consistent structure, with well-organized paragraphs that present ideas logically. Each paragraph needs a clear central idea and should logically proceed to the next. Use a range of cohesive devices accurately and appropriately to help flow and clarity.
task achievement
Be sure to fully address all parts of the task prompt. Develop your main points in a more comprehensive manner, including fuller arguments with specific details where applicable. Make sure to provide clear opinions and round off your essay with a short conclusion summarising your main points and restating your opinion.
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