More students are deciding to study science-related subjects at university rather than more traditional subjects. What are the causes of this? What affects will it have on society?

The high number of technological revolutions and well-paid occupations with
schoolarships
Correct your spelling
scholarships
scholarship
in the technical science field in the
last
couple
decades
Change preposition
of decades
show examples
caused a vast number of students who choose science-based majors
instead
of cultural subjects. The effects of that can start from a
soared
Replace the word
soaring
show examples
number of technicians and high competition to a potential loss of experience and knowledge in these areas.
The
Change preposition
With the
show examples
invention of the internet and
globalization
Correct article usage
the globalization
show examples
of computers, more technicians,
physicians
Correct word choice
and physicians
show examples
were required to continue a high development rate.
Therefore
, more universities and companies
offered
Wrong verb form
offer
show examples
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
various educational programs.
Moreover
, since science and
tech related
Add a hyphen
tech-related
show examples
things were well received, occupations in that field were
highly-ranked
Correct your spelling
highly ranked
show examples
and well-paid.
For example
, the average annual salary of a software engineer in California in 2015 was above
150 000
Correct your spelling
150,000
dollars, which was twice more than the salary of a teacher in the same state.
However
,
such
good conditions made technical professions too popular and raised the bar for an average technician to become a demanded specialist. As evidence, in Russia in 2022 junior developers had to compete with hundreds of other programmers for one job.
In addition
, despite the overcrowded workplaces, the decline of specialists in traditional areas can lead to cultural degradation and historical understanding. Having
weighted
Correct your spelling
weighed
show examples
everything mentioned up, we can come to a conclusion that every field should be valued equally , without hyping and underestimating each other. The overpopulation of programmers might be eliminated in the near future, and be equal
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
teachers and psychologists.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on developing a clearer and more logical structure throughout the essay. It's important that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the transition between ideas is smooth. Use cohesive devices appropriately to create a flow in the essay
task achievement
While you did address the main points of the prompts, ensure a balanced discussion on both questions asked. Devote equal attention to the causes and the effects. Provide a more developed conclusion summarizing both aspects of the question

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: