IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
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In the modern era,
science
 and technology have revolutionized human existence, sparking debate about their ultimate purpose.
While
 some argue for a broader pursuit of knowledge, I firmly believe that
science
's primary aim should be to enhance and improve human life.
Firstly
, the inherent human drive for comfort and convenience has fueled scientific advancements throughout history. From the invention of the wheel to the development of air conditioning, technological breakthroughs have consistently sought to alleviate challenges and elevate quality of life. Our daily routines now surpass the luxuries of ancient kings, demonstrating
science
's profound impact on our well-being.
Secondly
, advancements in
science
 often lead to reciprocal benefits for scientific progress itself. The tools and knowledge gained through practical applications often lead to
further
 discoveries and innovations. The emergence of fields
such
 as artificial intelligence and machine learning exemplifies
this
 interconnectedness, blurring the boundaries between scientific exploration and practical application. Ultimately, I contend that
science
's most meaningful contributions lie in its capacity to improve the human experience. By fostering greater comfort, convenience, health, and understanding,
science
 has the potential to create a more equitable and prosperous world for all.
While
 the pursuit of knowledge for its own sake holds value, I believe that
science
's greatest potential lies in its ability to tangibly transform and elevate the lives of individuals and societies.
Submitted by shaymaa.khalaf91 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay flows smoothly from one point to the next by creating an outline before writing. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to maintain a logical order of ideas and develop them cohesively throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your ideas by offering more detailed examples and evidence to support your arguments. This makes the essay more persuasive and showcases a wider range of language.
task achievement
Address the task more fully by considering both sides of the argument, even if you take a clear stance. This will demonstrate your ability to engage with different perspectives and understand the prompt's complexities.
task achievement
Present more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your arguments and provide a more vivid and illustrative discussion of the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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