It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an important issue regarding teaching the difference between right and wrong to
children
Use synonyms
at an early age.
In addition
Linking Words
,
punishment
Use synonyms
is a proper approach to
manage
Wrong verb form
managing
show examples
this
Linking Words
learning. In
this
Linking Words
passage,
this
Linking Words
subject will be discussed and I will express my personal opinion. In my personal view, it is essential for
children
Use synonyms
to learn factors related to the distinction between right and wrong.
Children
Use synonyms
in the early years of their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
have more capability to memorise moral elements.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, learning these items will be practical in the future a lot.
However
Linking Words
, I think, learning these factors does not need hard or physical
punishment
Use synonyms
because the
punishment
Use synonyms
is an unsuitable approach.
This
Linking Words
action might decrease the learning impact. These days, inappropriate
punishment
Use synonyms
has decreased very much.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that these punishments should be in effective ways. The
children
Use synonyms
should learn these moralities in an appropriate way and
this
Linking Words
learning should be internal. Under the circumstances, learning will be beneficial a lot.
However
Linking Words
, sometimes it is necessary to use
punishment
Use synonyms
for
children
Use synonyms
that they are taught some issues.
Also
Linking Words
, we should use modern approaches to teach them. In summary, I personally believe, it is necessary that we teach
children
Use synonyms
the difference between correct and incorrect. The moral factors are very important in adult life.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
punishment
Use synonyms
should be in a modern way and we are not allowed to punish
children
Use synonyms
in harsh and physical ways.
Submitted by MinaDadashi1376 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You need to ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction and conclusion were present, but they were not fully effective in outlining and summarizing your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a logical progression of ideas. It's important to organize your points in a way that each paragraph naturally leads to the next, and your ideas are explicitly connected to the thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Your supporting points are somewhat unclear and underdeveloped. To strengthen these, you should include more specific examples, explanations, and logically arranged arguments that directly support your opinion.
task achievement
You could more completely address the task by directly responding to all parts of the prompt. The question asks for your opinion on the necessity of punishment and the type of punishment that should be used, but your response does not thoroughly explore these aspects.
task achievement
Your ideas were presented in a generally clear manner, but they need to be elaborated upon more comprehensively. Expanding on your ideas with detailed explanations and examples will provide clarity and depth to your essay.
task achievement
Relating your main points to relevant, specific examples will greatly enhance your task response. Try to use real-life situations or hypothetical scenarios that clearly illustrate your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: