It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
There is an important issue regarding teaching the difference between right and wrong to
children
at an early age. In addition
, punishment
is a proper approach to manage
Wrong verb form
managing
this
learning. In this
passage, this
subject will be discussed and I will express my personal opinion.
In my personal view, it is essential for children
to learn factors related to the distinction between right and wrong. Children
in the early years of their life
have more capability to memorise moral elements. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Furthermore
, learning these items will be practical in the future a lot. However
, I think, learning these factors does not need hard or physical punishment
because the punishment
is an unsuitable approach. This
action might decrease the learning impact.
These days, inappropriate punishment
has decreased very much. Therefore
, I strongly believe that these punishments should be in effective ways. The children
should learn these moralities in an appropriate way and this
learning should be internal. Under the circumstances, learning will be beneficial a lot. However
, sometimes it is necessary to use punishment
for children
that they are taught some issues. Also
, we should use modern approaches to teach them.
In summary, I personally believe, it is necessary that we teach children
the difference between correct and incorrect. The moral factors are very important in adult life. In addition
, the punishment
should be in a modern way and we are not allowed to punish children
in harsh and physical ways.Submitted by MinaDadashi1376 on
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coherence cohesion
You need to ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction and conclusion were present, but they were not fully effective in outlining and summarizing your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a logical progression of ideas. It's important to organize your points in a way that each paragraph naturally leads to the next, and your ideas are explicitly connected to the thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Your supporting points are somewhat unclear and underdeveloped. To strengthen these, you should include more specific examples, explanations, and logically arranged arguments that directly support your opinion.
task achievement
You could more completely address the task by directly responding to all parts of the prompt. The question asks for your opinion on the necessity of punishment and the type of punishment that should be used, but your response does not thoroughly explore these aspects.
task achievement
Your ideas were presented in a generally clear manner, but they need to be elaborated upon more comprehensively. Expanding on your ideas with detailed explanations and examples will provide clarity and depth to your essay.
task achievement
Relating your main points to relevant, specific examples will greatly enhance your task response. Try to use real-life situations or hypothetical scenarios that clearly illustrate your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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