Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change

Since the
big bang
Correct your spelling
Big Bang
show examples
, numerous sources,
such
as human activities, have had a negative impact on plants and animals. Some
people
believe that the negative impact of human activities on the environment cannot be changed,
while
others believe that action can be taken by humans to save the planet.
Although
it is difficult to create change, I believe that
people
can make a difference through their
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
. On the
on
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one
show examples
hand, it is true that it is difficult to change
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
behaviour in
short
Correct article usage
the short
show examples
term.
Such
as we cannot change our habits and behaviours quickly.
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
it is possible to save our
world
.
Such
as nowadays
people
have
awareness
Correct article usage
an awareness
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
ecology and recycling is more common now
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to previous. But there are
another
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other
show examples
big steps that
people
could
do
Verb problem
take
show examples
.
For instance
, if
people
reduce using their own private cars, it will
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
be less air pollution
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the air.
Thus
, even though it will take time, there is a chance to save our
world
.
On the other hand
,
in
Change preposition
apply
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our
world
changes
Wrong verb form
is changing
show examples
rapidly. new constructions
build
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built
show examples
by humans every passing day. And it will continue
due to
human needs.
However
,
according to
the scientist irregular urban planning cause air pollution.
For instance
, in New York City more than 2000 skyscrapers
built
Add a missing verb
were built
show examples
in 50 years.
for
this
reason, a remarkable amount of trees are cut down.
Moreover
, hundreds of insects
loss
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lose
show examples
their nests because of new buildings.
In addition
,
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
will become
Correct article usage
an unliveable
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unliveable
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unlivable
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place
bacause
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because
of
humans
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human
show examples
behaviour. In conclusion, it is controversial that some
people
think it is impossible to do something for the
world
,
while
others believe there is always
opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
show examples
to do something for our planet. I firmly believe that if every person
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
, we can make
differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
show examples
.
Submitted by heisikdogan99 on

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task achievement
The essay covered the task adequately but could have delved deeper into specific actions humans can take and the potential outcomes of such actions. Furthermore, the examples provided were not entirely relevant or well-developed. It would benefit from more detailed, relevant examples that support the argument.
coherence cohesion
Though the essay included an introduction and conclusion, they were not effectively sharp or clear. Both should present the topic and main points with greater clarity and impact.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay was weak, impeding the reader's ability to follow the argument. Ideas should be organized more effectively, with clear progression from one to the next. Use paragraphing strategically to enhance readability and coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • extinct
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • mitigate
  • reverse
  • stricter regulations
  • protected areas
  • endangered species
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • biodiversity
  • consequences
  • renewable energy sources
  • organic farming
  • eco-tourism
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • natural ecosystems
  • preserve biodiversity
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