IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change

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Since the
big bang
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Big Bang
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, numerous sources,
such
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 as human activities, have had a negative impact on plants and animals. Some
people
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 believe that the negative impact of human activities on the environment cannot be changed,
while
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 others believe that action can be taken by humans to save the planet.
Although
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 it is difficult to create change, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 can make a difference through their
behavior
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behaviour
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. On the
on
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one
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 hand, it is true that it is difficult to change
Use synonyms
people
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people's
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 behaviour in
short
Correct article usage
the short
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 term.
Such
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 as we cannot change our habits and behaviours quickly.
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however
Add a comma
however,
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 it is possible to save our
world
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.
Such
Linking Words
 as nowadays
people
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 have
awareness
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an awareness
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about
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of
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 ecology and recycling is more common now
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to previous. But there are
another
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other
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 big steps that
people
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 could
do
Verb problem
take
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.
For instance
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, if
people
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 reduce using their own private cars, it will
definetely
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definitely
 be less air pollution
on
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in
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 the air.
Thus
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, even though it will take time, there is a chance to save our
world
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.
On the other hand
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,
in
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apply
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our
world
Use synonyms
changes
Wrong verb form
is changing
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 rapidly. new constructions
build
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built
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 by humans every passing day. And it will continue
due to
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 human needs.
However
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,
according to
Linking Words
 the scientist irregular urban planning cause air pollution.
For instance
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, in New York City more than 2000 skyscrapers
built
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were built
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 in 50 years.
for
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this
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 reason, a remarkable amount of trees are cut down.
Moreover
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, hundreds of insects
loss
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lose
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 their nests because of new buildings.
In addition
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,
Use synonyms
world
Add an article
the world
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 will become
Correct article usage
an unliveable
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unliveable
Correct your spelling
unlivable
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 place
bacause
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because
 of
humans
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human
show examples
 behaviour. In conclusion, it is controversial that some
people
Use synonyms
 think it is impossible to do something for the
world
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe there is always
opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
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 to do something for our planet. I firmly believe that if every person
take
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takes
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responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
, we can make
differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
show examples
.

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task achievement
The essay covered the task adequately but could have delved deeper into specific actions humans can take and the potential outcomes of such actions. Furthermore, the examples provided were not entirely relevant or well-developed. It would benefit from more detailed, relevant examples that support the argument.
coherence cohesion
Though the essay included an introduction and conclusion, they were not effectively sharp or clear. Both should present the topic and main points with greater clarity and impact.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay was weak, impeding the reader's ability to follow the argument. Ideas should be organized more effectively, with clear progression from one to the next. Use paragraphing strategically to enhance readability and coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • extinct
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • mitigate
  • reverse
  • stricter regulations
  • protected areas
  • endangered species
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • biodiversity
  • consequences
  • renewable energy sources
  • organic farming
  • eco-tourism
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • natural ecosystems
  • preserve biodiversity
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