Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change

Since the
big bang
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Big Bang
show examples
, numerous sources,
such
as human activities, have had a negative impact on plants and animals. Some
people
believe that the negative impact of human activities on the environment cannot be changed,
while
others believe that action can be taken by humans to save the planet.
Although
it is difficult to create change, I believe that
people
can make a difference through their
behavior
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behaviour
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. On the
on
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one
show examples
hand, it is true that it is difficult to change
people
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people's
show examples
behaviour in
short
Correct article usage
the short
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term.
Such
as we cannot change our habits and behaviours quickly.
however
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however,
show examples
it is possible to save our
world
.
Such
as nowadays
people
have
awareness
Correct article usage
an awareness
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about
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of
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ecology and recycling is more common now
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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to previous. But there are
another
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other
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big steps that
people
could
do
Verb problem
take
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.
For instance
, if
people
reduce using their own private cars, it will
definetely
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definitely
be less air pollution
on
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in
show examples
the air.
Thus
, even though it will take time, there is a chance to save our
world
.
On the other hand
,
in
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apply
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our
world
changes
Wrong verb form
is changing
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rapidly. new constructions
build
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built
show examples
by humans every passing day. And it will continue
due to
human needs.
However
,
according to
the scientist irregular urban planning cause air pollution.
For instance
, in New York City more than 2000 skyscrapers
built
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were built
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in 50 years.
for
this
reason, a remarkable amount of trees are cut down.
Moreover
, hundreds of insects
loss
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lose
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their nests because of new buildings.
In addition
,
world
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the world
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will become
Correct article usage
an unliveable
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unliveable
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unlivable
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place
bacause
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because
of
humans
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human
show examples
behaviour. In conclusion, it is controversial that some
people
think it is impossible to do something for the
world
,
while
others believe there is always
opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
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to do something for our planet. I firmly believe that if every person
take
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takes
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responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
, we can make
differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
show examples
.
Submitted by heisikdogan99 on

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task achievement
The essay covered the task adequately but could have delved deeper into specific actions humans can take and the potential outcomes of such actions. Furthermore, the examples provided were not entirely relevant or well-developed. It would benefit from more detailed, relevant examples that support the argument.
coherence cohesion
Though the essay included an introduction and conclusion, they were not effectively sharp or clear. Both should present the topic and main points with greater clarity and impact.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay was weak, impeding the reader's ability to follow the argument. Ideas should be organized more effectively, with clear progression from one to the next. Use paragraphing strategically to enhance readability and coherence.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • extinct
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • mitigate
  • reverse
  • stricter regulations
  • protected areas
  • endangered species
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • biodiversity
  • consequences
  • renewable energy sources
  • organic farming
  • eco-tourism
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • natural ecosystems
  • preserve biodiversity
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