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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people’s #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The histogram illustrates the data from a survey about
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea buying and drinking habits in five
cities
Use synonyms
 in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the number of people who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 in Melbourne has peaked compared to other
cities
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the individuals who went to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 in Brisbane and Adelaide are lacking compared to other
cities
Use synonyms
. Looking for more details, the data of people who spent time purchasing fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 in Melbourne has
submited
Correct your spelling
submitted
 at 63%, in Hobart is around 62% and
similarly
Linking Words
, in Sydney is around 61% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the individuals who went to
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 purchase
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 in Brisbane and Adelaide
lacked
Verb problem
were
show examples
 approximately 33%. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the rate of individuals
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
show examples
 instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in  the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 in Hobart was
higest
Correct your spelling
higher
 compared to other
cities
Use synonyms
 at around 50%.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, weeks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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