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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The plans below show the layout of a university sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The presented maps depict the University
sports
centre
's
facilities
Change noun form
facilities'
facility's
show examples
 recent architectural situation and a proposal for its modification in the
Correct your spelling
future
futurei
Correct your spelling
future
Firstly
, We analyse that clearly at first glance, the areas with the highest change are outdoor courts near the middle
centre
. The gym, 25m pool and changing
room
 nearly remained stable.
On the other hand
, It is explicitly observed that in the second
map
Add a comma
map,
show examples
 the two new changing rooms are going to be established on the right and left corners of the
sports
centre
.
Besides
, the
Sports
 shop will supplement next to the right changing
room
 and the café will link next to the left changing
room
,
thus
, new facilities projects can clearly be noticed.
Likewise
, The left outdoor courts will be replaced by the Leisure pool which is parallel to the 25m pool. The gym above seems to expand
in contrast
 to the changing
room
 and setting. The right outdoor courts will unite.
Consequently
, The
sports
centre
 will meet two equal dancing rooms.
Overall
, Revolution plans in the University
Sports
 Center will sustain to encounter various new facilities and it is these developments that will make
this
 area more better.
Submitted by ezgi.maide.213 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay shows an overall understanding of the task and presents main features and comparisons. However, the comparison could be more explicit, and the overall progression of information can be improved.
task achievement
The ideas are relevant but could be expanded with more specific details about the changes. The response is somewhat incomplete as it does not fully elaborate on the implications of the redevelopment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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