Some people think that job satisfaction is more important while other people think that a stable job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction

In contemporary society, some

people

are of the opinion that the pleasure in a career is far more essential than anything else

while

opponents believe that a sustainable occupation is much more crucial.

Although

being pleased and having positive energy in work is necessary, a long-run stable occupation is

also

a must-wanted thing.

This

essay will explore both viewpoints with supportively plausible examples and present my own opinion in conclusion. On the one hand, achieving

job

satisfaction during their career brings

people

a few merits, especially in their productivity

as well as

relating the workplace pressure issues. What I mean by

this

is individuals can keep a positive attitude which is believed

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they can assist them

Change preposition

show examples

performing their best in work.

Moreover

, it aids

people

to get on well with their colleagues which might lessen the workplace tension, leading to a wholesome mental health. So it is necessary to obtain

job

satisfaction

while

people

working.

On the other hand

, I do believe getting a sustainable position in a career is a must-wanted thing. Since

people

obtain a certain position in long-term;

therefore

, they can afford what they thirst for in life,

in addition

, they can pay for the ever-increasing standard of living

as well as

support the financial burden of the family.

For instance

, there are some sudden cases

such

as health checks, surgery or tax submissions, that require immediate financial support where their money can be spent . To encapsulate, it is

also

pivotal to acquire a long-term

job

so that

people

can tackle sudden problems in their lives. In conclusion,

while

achieving

job

satisfaction brings them some spiritual support, acquiring a sustainable position in work assists them in the long run. Personally, I believe

people

can possess these two simultaneously as long as they learn how to balance the two and be mindful to

give out

Verb problem

make

show examples

any decisions in their lives.

Submitted by thinhatvypham127 on Mon Jan 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay is logically structured. While your introduction and conclusion are present, the body paragraphs could be more clearly delineated to guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Make certain that each main point is elaborated upon and contextualized within the broader discussion. Your essay contains relevant points, but the connective tissue between them can be strengthened.

task achievement

Aim to respond fully to the task by discussing both views equally and providing a clear opinion. Ensure that your opinion is evident and is well-supported by the arguments presented throughout the essay.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear, but strive to present them more comprehensively. Clearer articulation will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. The use of general hypotheticals is a step in the right direction, but targeted examples will better demonstrate your understanding of the topic.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that job satisfaction is more important while other people think that a stable job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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