Some people think that job satisfaction is more important while other people think that a stable job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In contemporary society, some
people
are of the opinion that the pleasure in a career is far more essential than anything else while
opponents believe that a sustainable occupation is much more crucial. Although
being pleased and having positive energy in work is necessary, a long-run stable occupation is also
a must-wanted thing. This
essay will explore both viewpoints with supportively plausible examples and present my own opinion in conclusion.
On the one hand, achieving job
satisfaction during their career brings people
a few merits, especially in their productivity as well as
relating the workplace pressure issues. What I mean by this
is individuals can keep a positive attitude which is believed that
they can assist them Correct word choice
apply
to
performing their best in work. Change preposition
in
Moreover
, it aids people
to get on well with their colleagues which might lessen the workplace tension, leading to a wholesome mental health. So it is necessary to obtain job
satisfaction while
people
working.
On the other hand
, I do believe getting a sustainable position in a career is a must-wanted thing. Since people
obtain a certain position in long-term; therefore
, they can afford what they thirst for in life, in addition
, they can pay for the ever-increasing standard of living as well as
support the financial burden of the family. For instance
, there are some sudden cases such
as health checks, surgery or tax submissions, that require immediate financial support where their money can be spent . To encapsulate, it is also
pivotal to acquire a long-term job
so that people
can tackle sudden problems in their lives.
In conclusion, while
achieving job
satisfaction brings them some spiritual support, acquiring a sustainable position in work assists them in the long run. Personally, I believe people
can possess these two simultaneously as long as they learn how to balance the two and be mindful to give out
any decisions in their lives.Verb problem
make
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay is logically structured. While your introduction and conclusion are present, the body paragraphs could be more clearly delineated to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make certain that each main point is elaborated upon and contextualized within the broader discussion. Your essay contains relevant points, but the connective tissue between them can be strengthened.
task achievement
Aim to respond fully to the task by discussing both views equally and providing a clear opinion. Ensure that your opinion is evident and is well-supported by the arguments presented throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but strive to present them more comprehensively. Clearer articulation will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. The use of general hypotheticals is a step in the right direction, but targeted examples will better demonstrate your understanding of the topic.