Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is leading to poverty and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The
industry
is playing a crucial role across the world.
While
some believe that industrial improvement is essential and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
leads to reduced
poverty
, others argue that industrial improvement leads to increased
poverty
and ought to be stopped.
This
essay discusses both views, I strongly agree with the former opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand, industrial growth is crucial to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
poverty
because it brings a massive amount of employment opportunities so that people will get
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and earnings. Not only it
improves
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
the population's economy but
also
improves the nation's economy
such
as importing goods and exchanging foreign currency.
For example
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
India has a plethora of industrial cities like Mumbai and Chennai,
people
Rephrase
where people
show examples
can work and get
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
in order to they can satisfy their family expenses without facing
poverty
.
In addition
, industries provide a regular income to mankind and status as earners.
Therefore
, industries lead to diminished
poverty
through
this
growth.
In contrast
, because
industry
should be stopped, it leads to increased
poverty
among the population. Industrial growth brings inequality between the poor and the rich humankind which means industrial owners only can make profits and live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a sophisticated lifestyle,
beside
Replace the word
besides
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the bottom line employees only earn wages and workers have to work more than eight hours to get a basic salary to satisfy their financial expenses.
For instance
, the Tamilnadu state of India has many industrial cities and folks get plenty of job opportunities but they get low wages and still
poverty
is roaming.
Also
, owners only get more benefits and profits rather than workers,
hence
, industries should be stopped because it
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
poverty
.
To conclude
,
while
industry
improvement brings a standard income to the population through numerous employment chances, it causes inequality between the poor and the rich people
due to
workers
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
low
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
earnings than owners.
However
, in my opinion, about
this
, I strongly agree that
industry
is of the utmost importance because it reduces
poverty
through plenty of job chances and earnings.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and fully support it with detailed examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphs should logically flow from one to the next, with a clear progression of ideas. Usage of connecting words will aid in achieving this.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and structures to express contrasts and comparisons more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. Using a variety of complex structures correctly can increase your score.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial growth
  • poverty
  • income opportunities
  • technological advancements
  • productivity
  • income inequality
  • wealthy individuals
  • corporations
  • environmental impacts
  • impoverished communities
  • sustainable development
  • inclusive development
  • alleviation
  • measures
  • accompany
  • concerns
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