You are a student at a university in Brighton and are living in private accommodation and have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landlord’s workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success.
Dear Sir / Madam,
My name is Niki Che. I am an international student studying Bachelor of Computer Science
in
Change preposition
at
University
of Brighton. I am currently living in your service apartment. Correct article usage
the University
This
is a very cosy and lovely apartment, and I really enjoyed all the facilities, however
, I would like to express my dissatisfaction in regards
to the problems with the hot Fix the agreement mistake
regard
water
and heating system
.
During the past 6 months of my stay, the hot water
service has not been working properly, especially during daytime
. There were a few times that there Correct article usage
the daytime
is
no hot Wrong verb form
was
water
supply for two days. Furthermore
, the heating system
has not been functioning since I moved in. I had communicated with the workmen last
month, and they had arrived and tried to fix this
problem. They had fixed the heating system
. However
, the hot water
service could not be fixed as some parts have worn out and require new replacement.
It would be very much appreciated if you could arrange different
workmen to fix the heating Change preposition
for different
system
as soon as possible as winter is coming very soon.
I look forward to your rapid response,
Kind regards,
Niki CheSubmitted by niki1028 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, organize your essay into clear paragraphs and make sure to use appropriate connectors to show the relationship between ideas. Consider starting with an introduction that states the problem, providing a paragraph for each issue with its details, and ending with a conclusion that reiterates the main points and your request or expectation for resolution.
coherence cohesion
Include a summarizing conclusion to effectively wrap up your letter. Restate the main problem and your expectation succinctly to leave a strong final impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
While the main points in the essay are supported, enhance your essay by providing more specific details or examples. This can include dates, frequency of the issues, and specific impacts on your daily life to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The response fulfills the task to an extent, but to achieve a higher score, make sure to fully address all parts of the task. Specifically, provide a detailed account of all the repercussions due to the lack of heating and hot water, express how it has affected your life as a student, and mention any previous attempts at communication with the landlord about the problem.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant, but to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness, clarify your demands and expectations more forcefully. Use a more direct tone to make your needs clear. Explore the possibility of adding a deadline or expressing the seriousness of the problem's impact on your studies and wellbeing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.