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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph illustrates the number of households' yearly income by five
category
Change to a plural noun
categories
show examples
 in the US in three
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
show examples
 of time. The data
distributed
Add a missing verb
is distributed
show examples
 in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
US dollars (millions).
Overall
Linking Words
, one can observe from the chart that the lowest
figure
Use synonyms
 belong to
Correct article usage
the
show examples
$75,000-$99,999 category in 2011, and the main discrepancy is seen in 2015 between $75,000-$99,000 and $100,000 or more sections. The other noteworthy point is that less than $25,000 narrowed the gap with the $25,000-$49,999 segment in 2011, compared with 2007. From less than $25,000 to $50,000-$74,999, the first section(less than $25,000) started over 25
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
households and peaked roughly in 30
million
Use synonyms
, in 2007 and in 2011,
accordingly
Linking Words
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the data of
$
Correct article usage
the $
show examples
25,000-$49,999 section experienced
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increase,
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
 5
million
Use synonyms
, between 2007 and 2011,
while
Linking Words
 the
figure
Use synonyms
 slightly decreased to more than 25
million
Use synonyms
 in 2015. $50,000-$74,999 remained relatively stable within
this
Linking Words
 period. As for the remaining segmentations, the former one
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 off in the same
figure
Use synonyms
 throughout the period ,unlike that, the latter one's
figure
Use synonyms
 faced fluctuations and
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 over 30
million
Use synonyms
 in 2015.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words figure, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household distribution
  • income brackets
  • annual income
  • percentage change
  • trend analysis
  • income group
  • significant increase/decrease
  • steady growth/decline
  • fluctuations
  • compared to
  • in contrast
  • notably
  • median income
  • poverty line
  • economic factors
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