IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You are a student at a language school in New Zealand studying Business English. Part of the course is a summer work placement programme. Unfortunately, you have just learned from the school that this programme has now been cancelled. Write a letter to the School Principal. In your letter: - State your reason for writing - describe the problem and your concerns - explain what you would like the Principal to do

#student #language #school #zealand #business #english #part #course #summer #work #placement #programme #reason #concerns
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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 to express my
dissapointment
Correct your spelling
disappointment
 about the cancellation of
summer
Add an article
the summer
a summer
show examples
 work
programme
. I came to New Zealand
for studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
 Business English and now that I know that the
programme
 has been cancelled, makes me feel extremely terrible. I always wanted to learn about business
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 for my professional growth. When I got to know that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 summer, we
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be learning professional
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
, I was very excited and I cancelled my trip to Australia with my family. I am worried that the cancellation of
this
 subject would impact our development and we will
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
refrain from gaining practical experiences. I understand that you have your reasons
to cancel
Change preposition
for canceling
show examples
this
programme
.
However
, if you can provide any alternative arrangements
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I would
also
 like to know the reason for
Correct article usage
the cancellation
show examples
cancellation
Correct article usage
the cancellation
show examples
 of
this
programme
. Please consider the chances of reinstating the
programme
. Sincerely, Navneet
Submitted by nitusidhu650 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear paragraphing with each paragraph focused on a single idea. Paragraphs seemed to contain multiple ideas which impacted the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Use varied and appropriate cohesive devices to improve the flow and clarity of the letter.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task with sufficient detail. Certain areas could have been elaborated, particularly potential solutions or alternatives you would like to see implemented.
task achievement
Consider using a more formal tone consistently throughout the letter, suitable for the intended recipient, the School Principal.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work placement programme
  • language development
  • professional growth
  • alternative arrangements
  • practical experience
  • disappointment
  • concerns
  • reinstating
  • feasibility
  • constructive solution
  • immediate attention
  • proactive measures
  • compensation
  • repercussions
  • correspondence
  • clarification
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