In the future , people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash . All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?
In
Correct article usage
the comming
comming
days , individuals may have to pay for their purchases by cards or smartphones , not in Correct your spelling
coming
cash
. It is crystall
clear that Correct your spelling
crystal
this
condition will happen all over the globe as soon as our views . Yet some people might not be glad with
Change the preposition
about
this
issu
and they will try to keep themselves in the old shape. I will try to extend my Correct your spelling
issue
oppinion
about Correct your spelling
opinion
this
phenomenon in this
essay.
Needless to say that
, technology changed our life dramatically in all aspects ; Correct pronoun usage
apply
infact
, in recent years we adapted to its benefits and drawbacks ; Correct your spelling
in fact
forexample
, in Correct your spelling
for example
past
if people Correct article usage
the past
wants
to go shopping , they should Wrong verb form
wanted
geuss
the prices and pick up enough Correct your spelling
guess
cash
to buy the needs ; however
, nowadays you just need your credit card for payments , even if you have forgotten the card you can pay by the apps which are on most of our smartphones. As a result
, we should be sure that in early
Correct article usage
the early
feuture
not only money in Correct your spelling
future
feature
cash
will become useless, but also
it will become disapear
very soon.
Correct your spelling
disappear
On the other hand
, a number of individuals may not be cheer with
Change preposition
about
this
happening ; as a matter of fact, some of the aldarlies did not get used to this
breakthrough ; to illustrate , it is hard for them to trust this
revolutionary
and manage their accounts with new methods ; Replace the word
revolution
hence
, they prefer to use cash
as before .
to conclude
,in near
Correct article usage
the near
Correct your spelling
future
feuture
people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using Add a comma
feuture,
cash
. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones
applications and those who are not happy with Change the noun form
phone
this
regard have to get used to it.Submitted by sajad.bazdar.2012 on
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coherence cohesion
It is crucial to maintain a logical flow in your argumentation. This essay lacks clarity in the structure of points, which might cause confusion to the reader. A clear introductory paragraph, followed by arguments supported by distinct paragraphs, and a strong conclusion would make the argument more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they must be more defined. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your thesis, while the conclusion should be a summary of your points and final thoughts. They should frame your essay, setting the topic and summarizing the discourse effectively.
coherence cohesion
Though you make some main points, they need further development and support with clear examples. You should expand your argument with more specific explanations, real-world examples, or data, which enhance the persuasiveness of your writing.
task achievement
Address the task directly by providing a clear response to the question. While you have offered an opinion, ensuring that you fully address both parts of the prompt will lead to a higher score. Include comprehensive ideas and develop them throughout the essay to meet the task requirements fully.
task achievement
Your ideas on the topic need to be clearer and more comprehensively explained. Use paragraphing effectively to explore each point you make. Ensure that the points you make are relevant and contribute toward answering the task's questions.
task achievement
Support your points with relevant, specific examples. These examples should be directly tied to the points you're making and should help to illustrate and reinforce your arguments. The inclusion of specific examples adds depth and validity to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.