Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
On account of
the
modern technological advancement, there has been a significant demand for Correct article usage
apply
subjects
in relation to science
and technology in higher education. Under the circumstances, there has been contention over whether students
opt for either their favorite
courses or some practical Change the spelling
favourite
subjects
which are often associated with science
. Although
taking those subjects
may bolster students
’ career prospects, I strongly argue that they should have the right to choose their preferred study, considering the current school curricula as well as
their motivations.
To begin
, students
who have completed a degree in the realm of science
and technology may have more promising careers. According to
a survey conducted in Japan, more than 85 per cent of those who have studied these areas were able to obtain a job immediately after graduating from university. This
result solidly implies that majoring in them have
a strong edge over any other Correct subject-verb agreement
has
students
who have done other degrees.
Nevertheless
, students
’ internal motivations should not be disregarded. For instnace
, if Correct your spelling
instance
students
were not to have any interest in science
, not only would they feel immensely dimotivated
to study, but they could Correct your spelling
motivated
demotivated
also
drop out of the course. In this
instance, it would defeat the purpose of enrolling in the course. Furthermore
, in light of the present educational system commonly adopted widely, the majority of students
must undertake compulsory subjects
at school. Therefore
, students
have the capability to opt for their
course, which is aligned with their interests and strengths.
In conclusion, Change the word
a
while
science
and technology might bring enormous benefits to students
regarding their career opportunities, I strongly belive
that their motivations, preferences, Correct your spelling
believe
strengths
must be considered at Correct word choice
and strengths
university
level.Add an article
the university
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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement, which makes it challenging to understand the writer's stance from the onset. Be sure to include a definitive thesis statement that outlines the main points that will be discussed.
task achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion of both views by expounding equally on the arguments for students studying science and technology as well as the argument for freedom in choosing their field of study. This balance was not quite achieved in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures and transitions to improve the flow of the essay, making it easier for the reader to follow along and understand the progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarises the essay but does not adequately restate your opinion or the arguments presented. A stronger conclusion will reaffirm your stance and the reasons behind it.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is beneficial, but ensure they are fully developed and clearly connected to the argument being made. The example from Japan is a good start but needs to be better integrated into your overall argument for it to be effective.