Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is argued that adolescence years are the happiest years in one’s
life
, while
others believe that adulthood
is the most joyful phase to live despite having bigger responsibilities
. This
essay believes that, although
adolescents
are free of responsibilities
, adults
enjoy their life
more because they are free to make their own choices.
On the one hand, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
adolescents
are thought to live the happiest moments of their life
because they are not asked to be responsible. Basically, a teenager lives with his parents, who not only provide him Fix the agreement mistake
lives
shelter
, food, and educationChange preposition
with shelter
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
, in some cases, would try to meet his fantasies. For instance
, in my country, teenagers make
a great example of spoiled people who spend their money carelessly and always ask for more, though they do not seem to be happy.Verb problem
are
However
, I believe that not being obliged to worry about any responsibility is not what happiness is all about, and consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
adolescents
do not live their happiest days.
On the other hand
, others see that adulthood
is a happier phase because adults
are free to make the choices that fit their aspirations. Having the freedom of choice will eventually be followed by achievements and a sense of self-accomplishment, which is a primary source of joy. For example
, many adults
in my country are happy because of the choice of career or commitment they took on their own, and they see themselves happier
than when they were teenagers. Change preposition
as happier
Therefore
, I believe adulthood
is the most enjoyable time because one can not be happy if they have to follow others’ plans even it
comes with no Correct word choice
if it
responsibilities
.
In conclusion, despite having no responsibilities
on their shoulders, adolescents
do not live the happiest moments of their life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
This
essay believes that it is adulthood
which is the most enjoyable in light of the fact that adults
are free to make their own choices.Submitted by ss6802125 on
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task response
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response, and both views are discussed. However, specificity in examples is somewhat lacking. Provide more detailed, real-world instances or statistics to enhance your argument and better illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally organizes information and ideas coherently. Paragraphing is used effectively, but linking words or phrases can be used more skillfully to better highlight the relationships between ideas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?