Many people consider celebrities such as actors and athletes to be their role models. Do you think that people should look up to celebrities as role models? What other types of people are worthy of admiration?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

era

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most

people

Use synonyms

think

Correct word choice

that

show examples

Correct word choice

that

show examples

celebrities

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as actors and

athletes

Use synonyms

could be their

role

Use synonyms

models

Use synonyms

. It's fine if the

role

Use synonyms

models

Use synonyms

give them a good or positive example.

Celebrities

Use synonyms

can be positive

role

Use synonyms

models

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

their

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

talent. If we can able to emulate their positive characteristics

its

Correct your spelling

it's

show examples

fine to make them

role

Use synonyms

models

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, some

celebrities

Use synonyms

and

athletes

Use synonyms

could

inspiring

Change the verb form

inspire

be inspiring

show examples

individuals to

persue

Correct your spelling

pursue

their

dream

Fix the agreement mistake

dreams

show examples

and work hard. We should

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

bring those

character

Fix the agreement mistake

characters

show examples

Change preposition

into

show examples

our

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

, that way

celebrities

Use synonyms

and

athletes

Use synonyms

can be able to

being

Change the verb

show examples

role

Use synonyms

models

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

celebrities

Use synonyms

would

difinitely

Correct your spelling

definitely

share their daily life.

For example

Linking Words

, we could

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

watch

Correct article usage

a Youtube

show examples

Correct article usage

a Youtube

show examples

Youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

chanel

Correct your spelling

channel

when we need

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some motivation or something we need from their

role

Use synonyms

models

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

celebrities

Use synonyms

and

athletes

Use synonyms

are involved in humanitarian efforts,

such

Linking Words

help

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

some

people

Use synonyms

to get help and preventing crime

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

occurring.

On the other hand

Linking Words

celelebrities

Correct your spelling

celebrities

advocating

Wrong verb form

advocate

show examples

for important causes and

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

their platform for social change. As we know most

people

Use synonyms

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

something they need or want.

For instance

Linking Words

, they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

read

news paper

Correct your spelling

newspaper

show examples

using their smartphone and even if they would like to watch some movies they could do it

while

Linking Words

doing other activities. But as we know it is only for social media consumption.

Add a verb

We are

We were

show examples

not able to believe

Use synonyms

celebrities

Change noun form

celebrities'

celebrity's

show examples

Use synonyms

athletes

Change noun form

athletes'

athlete's

show examples

life. In conclusion,

people

Use synonyms

should

also

Linking Words

admire everyday heroes,

such

Linking Words

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

and healthcare workers. And

also

Linking Words

community leaders who make a tangible difference in

ther

Correct your spelling

their

lives. Parental assistance

needed

Add a missing verb

is needed

show examples

here to serve as the most immediate and

infulential

Correct your spelling

influential

role

Use synonyms

models

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

their direct impact on an

individuals

Change noun form

individual's

show examples

development and values.

ru.kabiru.biruWed Jan 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the introduction has a clear stance on the topic; avoid ambiguities.

coherence cohesion

Organize main points logically and develop them coherently throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Use cohesive devices to better connect ideas and paragraphs, ensuring a smoother flow of information.

task achievement

Engage with the task thoroughly, providing a complete response to all parts of the question.

task achievement

Clarify and expand upon key ideas to make them comprehensive and directly relevant to the question.

task achievement

Illustrate ideas with specific, relevant examples to support your arguments and enhance the response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

influential
humanitarian
advocacy
platform
social change
distorted perception
unrealistic expectations
idealized
superficial
everyday heroes
tangible
intellectuals
innovators
ethical achievements
mentors
personal growth

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The gap between rich and poor is growing. What problems does this create? What can be done to tackle this.
In this ultra-modern world, wealthy people's level of life has a lot of differences from poor people and it is increasing over time. There are various factors that contribute to this problem; Therefore, this essay will provide some reasons and effective solutions.
7
band
Nowadays some professions such as doctors, lawyers and engineers are paid much higher than ordinary workers. What do you think of this trend? Are there any jobs which you think should offer higher salaries.
It is true that regular employees are not able to earn as high as people can get paid in some high-skilled professions such as doctors, engineers and lawyers. I think getting paid much higher as compared to ordinary workers definitely has a positive effect on society and also describes some other jobs that also need higher salaries.
7.5
band
Some claim newspapers are the best means to get the most recent information because they have more influence than other forms of media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What media outlets are more well-known in today's culture is a topic of much discussion. While there are others who argue that newspapers have greater power and are the best source of up-to-date information than other media, I disagree, arguing that online news browsing is still the most effective way to obtain news.
6.5
band
in order to succeed, people require certain personality traits. what are these traits? what else is needed to succeed
There are a couple of fundamental characteristics which lead people to find success in life which can be noted as responsibility along determination. However, success also requires a fair share of luck combined with some social networking.
6
band
Social media is an essential part of young people’s lives nowadays, but its impact is often criticized. What are the advantages and disadvantages of social media in teenagers’ and young adults’ lives?
These days, social media is an integral part of the lives of the young generation, however, the influence of social media is widely criticized. The major advantages of social media in the lives of adolescents and young adults are easy access to communication and entertainment options. The disadvantages of social media among the young generation are not being attentive to studies and behaviour problems.

Many people consider celebrities such as actors and athletes to be their role models. Do you think that people should look up to celebrities as role models? What other types of people are worthy of admiration?

Your opinion

The gap between rich and poor is growing. What problems does this create? What can be done to tackle this.

Nowadays some professions such as doctors, lawyers and engineers are paid much higher than ordinary workers. What do you think of this trend? Are there any jobs which you think should offer higher salaries.

Some claim newspapers are the best means to get the most recent information because they have more influence than other forms of media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

in order to succeed, people require certain personality traits. what are these traits? what else is needed to succeed

Social media is an essential part of young people’s lives nowadays, but its impact is often criticized. What are the advantages and disadvantages of social media in teenagers’ and young adults’ lives?