The first graph shows the number of train passengers from 2000 to 2009; the second compares the percentage of trains running on time and target in the period.

The first graph shows the number of train passengers from 2000 to 2009; the second compares the percentage of trains running on time and target in the period.
The first line graph illustrates the
number
of individuals using
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
between 2000 and 2009,
while
the second gives information about the proportion of
trains
running exactly
according to
timetable
Add an article
the timetable
a timetable
show examples
as well as
target
Add an article
the target
a target
show examples
.
Overall
, it is clearly observable that the
number
of train passengers went up during the 9-year period.
Similarly
, the percentage of
on time
Add a hyphen
on-time
show examples
running
trains
rose over the same period and was just as equal
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
target
Add an article
a target
the target
show examples
in three points. In 2000, the
number
of railway users stood at approximately 35
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. over the following
5-years
Correct your spelling
5 years
, the
number
of passengers peaked at nearly 45
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
However
, in the subsequent
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
the
number
of train passengers saw a gradual fall of 3 million. By considering
Correct article usage
the trains
show examples
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
show examples
timetable, in 2000, the percentage of
trains
running on time
far
Add a missing verb
was far
show examples
lower than
target
Correct article usage
the target
show examples
at 92%. During the next
8-years
Correct your spelling
8 years
, the figure for
trains
running on time fluctuated
arount
Correct your spelling
around
the
target
percentage (95%) and
finally
reached the maximum at 97% in 2008 and remained constant until 2009.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, trains, target with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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