IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Humans are responsible for a variety of environmental problems, but we can also take steps to reduce the damage that we are causing to the planet. This essay will discuss environmental problems and the measures that governments and individuals can take to address these problems.

#humans #variety #steps #damage #planet #measures #governments #individuals #address
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Environmental issues are caused by the negative attitudes of individuals,
such
Linking Words
 as the monitored cutting down
trees
Change preposition
of trees
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 and air
pollution
Use synonyms
.
However
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, there should be actual courses of action as initiatives to decrease the impact on the planet.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine two major issues in the
environment
Use synonyms
 and the possible solutions to tackle these challenges. The two major environmental problems are the uncontrolled cutting down
green
Change preposition
of green
show examples
 plants and air
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Due to
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population
Correct article usage
the population
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 growth rate, the buildings are extended in their area which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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cutting
Change preposition
in cutting
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 down
green
Change preposition
of green
show examples
 plants which is the source of forestration phenomena.
In addition
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,gas
emissions
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 from factories and exhaust fumes from
cars
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 are causing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bad effect on the plant.
For example
Linking Words
, too many
cars
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 are generated by fossil fuels that emit carbon dioxide gas through exhaust systems
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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causuing
Correct your spelling
causing
pollution
Use synonyms
 in
Correct article usage
the atmospher
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atmospher
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
.
Furthermore
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, these problems are the reasons of climate change and global warming.
On the other hand
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, governments and individuals should cooperate in reducing gas
emissions
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cutting down trees by different
initatives
Correct your spelling
initiatives
 and actions.
Firstly
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, governments should enforce laws to limit
emissions
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 from factories or force companies to use renewable energy
such
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 as Sun, water or wind.
Also
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, they can impose fines on drivers to reduce carbon dioxide
emissions
Use synonyms
 from their exhaust
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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.
This
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 can encourage people to buy electric
cars
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instead
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 of
cars
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 that are generated by fossil fuels.
Moreover
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, governments and educational ministries should increase the awareness among people to reduce the phenomena of deforestation by publishing the negative effects on
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 through different channels on TV. So these are measures
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
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 be taken into consideration to address the mentioned problems.
To conclude
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, humans are responsible
to
Change preposition
for
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 shrinkage the negative attitudes that
cause
Wrong verb form
are caused
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
an environment
show examples
 like air
pollution
Use synonyms
 and cutting down trees.
On the other hand
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, they should look after their planet by following the regulations that are imposed by legal institutes and increasing their level of awareness in preserving the
environment
Use synonyms
.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical flow of ideas by connecting paragraphs and ideas more seamlessly. Use cohesive devices appropriately.
task achievement
Work on providing clear and fully developed ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and explore it thoroughly.
task achievement
To enhance your score, provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Use real-world cases and data to strengthen your points.
language use
Remember to use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate linguistic range.
task achievement
Make sure your conclusion summarises the essay effectively, restating your position and clearly stating your final thought on the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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