We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to realize so much on computers? Right at least 250 words.
The
technology
has advanced so much since the past. A computer which used to be as large as a car, can be held with one hand nowadays. There comes AI or artificial intelligence technology
. It is program
that can learn, think and act like Add an article
a program
human
. In Add an article
a human
this
essay
I will estimate what will happen in the future and whether it is good to rely on Add a comma
essay,
Add an article
the computer
a computer
computer
so much.
AI has been Fix the agreement mistake
computers
prevalence
for many years. Replace the word
prevalent
For example
, when we take picture
of people, the AI in Change the form of the verb
pictures
camera
can analyze where a face is and focus on it. But nowadays, it has gone even Add an article
the camera
a camera
further
. Self-driving car
now Fix the agreement mistake
cars
becomes
real. By using Wrong verb form
become
camera
to detect the other cars and lanes, it can drive on its own without any problem. Maybe in the future, we could have Add an article
the camera
a camera
robot
Fix the agreement mistake
robots
work
for ourself
and we can sit around all Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
days
doing nothing.
Fix the agreement mistake
day
On the contrary
, having computer
do all the Add an article
the computer
a computer
works
for you might not be a good idea. If you rely on something too much, you may become too dependent and can do nothing Fix the agreement mistake
work
with out
it. Correct your spelling
without
Furthermore
, having robots work
in our stead means there is less work
for us. The number of the
unemployed could increase and the job might be harder to find.
In conclusion, the Correct article usage
apply
advancing
of computer-based Replace the word
advancement
technology
is making our life better and more convenient. But it comes with risks. Dependence on technology
make
Change the verb form
makes
human
less effective and when Fix the agreement mistake
humans
the
it malfunctions, maybe we won't be able to do anything. Remove the article
apply
Moreover
, if the robot can work
in stead
of us, maybe we aren't needed for the job anymore.Correct your spelling
instead
Submitted by Ze.Nin3.R0 on
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coherence cohesion
While the essay shows a basic structure with an introduction and conclusion, it lacks clear paragraphing and the ideas are not well-developed, which affects the logical flow. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is supported by specific examples or explanations.
task achievement
The response addresses the topic, but does so superficially. Develop your ideas more comprehensively by explaining how technology may change in the future. Include more specific examples and consider the implications of these changes.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.