Some people believe that touristsdo not learn anything during their holidays, while others believe that they learn a lot. Discuss both sides .

Nowadays, it is
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
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easier to travel.
Due to
the development of technology and infrastructure, the number of
visitors
are
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is
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increasing rapidly in every
spots
Change to a singular noun
spot
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. It is argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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learn nothing
while
they are on vacation,
while
others think that gain a lot.
This
essay agrees that, in terms of learning perspective, individuals
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
a lot from their vacation.
Holidays
offer
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
range of knowledge towards
visitors
, which
consider
Wrong verb form
is considered
show examples
more worthy than reading a book in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school. Since every
spots
Change to a singular noun
spot
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
something new to provide.
Therefore
people are able to learn
while
they spend time in their places of interest. It is
therefore
agreed that travelling is beneficial.
For example
, on my
last
vacation
Add a comma
vacation,
show examples
I
was
Verb problem
went
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to India and
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
visited 10 museums.
This
help
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helps
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me to learn more clearly about ancient cultures than
to
Change preposition
in
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my school books.
However
, many disagree that
holidays
do not put any value
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their learning process. It
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
a waste of time and money. Despite
this
, travelling gives
visitors
a fresh start
as well as
new opportunities to learn about new things, which is never before possible, and
this
essay
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
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that
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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learn nothing during their
holidays
. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
, when someone
travelling
Replace the word
travels
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to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
destination, they get to learn something which is not possible from any paid courses. In conclusion,
while
the benefits of
holidays
, particularly travelling, allow
visitors
to tap into limitless sources of information, some still think that, it has no value.
However
,
holidays
are beneficial for learning progress.
Submitted by sahareatushar124 on

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Task Achievement
In terms of task achievement, the response addresses the prompt but does so unevenly. Ideas are presented, yet the argument is not fully balanced, with one viewpoint discussed in more detail than the other. To improve, ensure that both sides of the argument are explored equally and that the conclusion effectively summarizes this balance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Concerning coherence and cohesion, the essay has a discernible structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, there is repetition and lack of varied linking words, which affects the logical flow of ideas. Work on organizing points more clearly and use a wider range of cohesive devices. Avoid unnecessary repetitions and strive for concise and clear sentence structures.

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