In some countries, secondary school aims to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

#countries #school #education #range #subjects #children #focus #career #today’s #world

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In the modern era, several countries use

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

to provide

across

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a range of modules as basic universal

education

for their

children

. On the flip side, there were countries focusing only on teaching them the subjects for the only

path

needed. In my opinion, giving our

children

universal modules is still relevant to use, I will elaborate

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

reasons below.

Education

should not be limited only to specific areas, especially for kids below 14. Universal

education

will help them know more about anything and help them socially in the society. They will know

general

Rephrase

how general

show examples

things are working and

how

Correct word choice

what

show examples

they are supposed to do. Math and Geography are

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

example, the uses of math will likely help them to do basic transactions in trading goods. In geography, we reduce our possibility of being misguided.

Furthermore

, with universal

education

, the

children

can search for what they are like or not. From

this

education

also

, they will potentially choose the

path

that they wanna be. If the

children

like math, they could be engineers, analysts, teachers, etc. If they do not, there are a lot of options,

such

as becoming artists, athletes, musicians, etc. Universal

education

can open wide their potential

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

and

choose

Replace the word

choices

show examples

On the other hand

, mastering

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their job or occasion still needs specialist

education

. It would be nice to give after they already

choose

Wrong verb form

chosen

show examples

their

path

of career. In conclusion, I believe universal

education

will help

children

to learn widely and to choose their

path

wisely. By

this

consideration, universal

education

is still a good point these days.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Thu Jan 11 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, which is then developed with explanations or examples. Some of your points lack detailed examples to fully support the arguments.

coherence cohesion

Work on paragraphing so that each idea is distinct and follows logically from the previous one. Make use of cohesive devices to better link your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

broad foundation
well-rounded individuals
critical thinking skills
adaptability
specialized skills
job readiness
interconnected world
global economy
flexibility
pivot between careers
future-proofing
automation
transferable skills
holistic development
explore various interests
economic structure
workforce demands
local context

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In some countries, secondary school aims to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

Fully explain your ideas

some people believe that if people are not allowed to work after the age of 60, it cause problems. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

advertising has become increasingly popular in different markets. Firms are using various forms of advertising to popularize the novelty of their products to the public for additional profit

chools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food. Others think it is the parent's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.