You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it
Dear Mr. Karvani
with pleasure , I'm writing
this
letter to you through the opputunity
of a 6 months working position in the central office. As you know it's Correct your spelling
opportunity
about
6 years Add a missing verb
been about
that
I Correct word choice
since
work
for the company Wrong verb form
have worked
at
the same position.During these years Change preposition
in
i've
learned many new tips from my career and my colleagues. I think I Change the capitalization
I've
became
well experienced and Wrong verb form
have become
elligable
to cope Correct your spelling
eligible
my
duties and Change preposition
with my
working
Wrong verb form
work
responsiblities
now. Correct your spelling
responsibilities
This
opportunity of working
in a different environment with new responsibilities could help me Change preposition
to work
to
boost my skills and make me more Verb problem
apply
familliar
with different roles and Correct your spelling
familiar
challanges
.
During these months, To avoid any Correct your spelling
challenges
interuptions
and problems due Correct your spelling
interruptions
interruption
my
absence I would try to do my Change preposition
to my
responsiblites
online and by working extra hours from home. Correct your spelling
responsibilities
Also
I asked some colleagues to accept duties which are not possible to be done online .Add a comma
Also,
Hopefully
they confirm that they could handle the job .
Add a comma
Hopefully,
Through
these mentioned reasons ,I would like to ask you for Change preposition
For
coaporation
and if it is possible please introduce me Correct your spelling
corporation
cooperation
for
Change preposition
to
this
option to
the main office .
Thank You
yours sincerely
Aisan EbrahimiChange preposition
in
Submitted by zohal21 on
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure needs to be improved, ensuring that ideas are ordered in a clear and logical manner throughout the letter. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, and the progression from one idea to the next should be smooth and coherent.
coherence cohesion
Single ideas should be contained within individual paragraphs. This letter mixes multiple ideas in the same paragraph, which can confuse readers and make the letter less effective.
task achievement
While the response generally addresses the task, there is room to provide a more detailed explanation of how the writer's work will be managed during their absence, potentially including specific plans or contingencies.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is quite informal and lacks professionalism at times. Ensure the language and tone are consistently formal and respectful, as is suitable for a letter to a manager.
coherence cohesion
Greeting and closing are present but could be improved. A more formal tone is expected, such as using 'Dear Mr. Karvani' instead of 'Dear Mr. Karvani' and ensuring proper punctuation and capitalization throughout the letter.