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Writing Samples
Band 8

the graph below shows the percentage of part _time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010.

the graph below shows the percentage of part _time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010.
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of part-time workers in four countries in the United Kingdom between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is apparent that the trend of part-time workers in Wales, England, and Scotland increased in entire the period,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it was on the reverse in Northern Ireland. It is worth noticing that Wales had the highest percentage of part-time employees in both years. In 1980 there were more than 30% accounting for part-time staff in Wales and it slightly increased in 2010 by five per cent.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, as the graph described, in 1980, England had a quarter per cent of people working part-time followed by Scotland with roughly 11%, and in the next two decades, the figures had altered to over 30% and nearly 20%, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the proportion of part-time officers in Northern Ireland witnessed a decrease from around 15% in 1980 to 12%, at the least, in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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