Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local costum and behavior others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural difference Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #visitors #countries #costum #behavior #host #country #difference

Public concern regarding travellers’

attitude

Fix the agreement mistake

attitudes

show examples

is increasingly topical since some individuals argue that tourists should obey to rules

consisted

Verb problem

apply

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in the

host

country

in contrast

, the rest of them believe that the

host

country

should

be opened

Wrong verb form

open

show examples

their

eye

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eyes

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to respect other

culture

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cultures

show examples

. In response to

this

aforementioned issue, I will give both

perspective

Change to a plural noun

perspectives

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and convince

that

Correct pronoun usage

them that

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the visitors have to follow the hosts’ rules.

Firstly

, welcoming foreigners to the

country

has beneficial impacts

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show examples

citizens’

live

Replace the word

lives

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. The reason is that they can spend their money to purchase

good

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goods

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and services

while

travelling. The more they use budgets to get something offered in the

host

area, the more dollars can be received by local people.

Therefore

, it leads to

increase

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

economic

condition

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conditions

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and

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

local people

better

Add an article

a better

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life.

However

this

point of view is misleading because some tourists do not follow the instructions stated in the

regulation

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regulations

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or in the

custom

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customs

show examples

they

Correct word choice

and they

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tend to

make

Verb problem

cause

show examples

troubles

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trouble

show examples

in some areas. Take Indonesia as one example, CNN reported that some foreigners departed from Bangladesh

carry

Wrong verb form

carrying

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their extended family to Bali for business

purpose

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purposes

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and

becoming

Wrong verb form

to become

show examples

competitor

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competitors

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for local

business

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businesses

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This

activity Government’s regulation

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

restricts individuals

embarking

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from embarking

show examples

Indonesia

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on Indonesia

show examples

without any permission. Th

On the other hand

, obeying the hosts’

regulation

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regulations

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has a positive development for visitors

due to

the easier journey.

Firstly

, studying

native

Correct pronoun usage

their native

show examples

language makes them closer to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and get some benefits,

such

as affordable

price

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prices

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

some souvenirs or services.

In addition

, respecting local people will protect them from harassment and rejection.

To sum up

, even though the

host

country

should respect foreigners’

custom

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customs

show examples

, they still need to obey the rules

due to

their easier journey,

for instance

increasing networking and avoiding

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

Submitted by akunyesikafikan1814 on Thu Jan 11 2024

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Structure

Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state the topic and the writer's opinion. The conclusion should summarily address the points discussed and restate the writer's position.

Cohesion

Use cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs logically. This can include conjunctions, discourse markers, and lexical phrases that show comparison, contrast, addition, etc.

Support

Develop main points with specific examples and explanations. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and should be expanded upon with evidence or examples to support your arguments.

Task Response

Respond to all parts of the task. Make sure to discuss both views as well as give your own opinion, ensuring that each is given adequate attention and development.

Accuracy

Avoid grammatical and spelling mistakes as these can disrupt the clarity of your ideas and the flow of your essay.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local costum and behavior others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural difference Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In their advertising businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this the case? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Most people think that the truth should be objective rather than subjective when it comes to the news. Do you think all news is true? What is the function of a newspaper?

In some countries, university students live at home with their families while they study in the same city, whereas, in other countries they live away from home while they study. Do the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foregin language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advanantages of this outweight the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include some relevant examples.