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Band 3.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of 2 countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The chart below shows the expenditure of 2 countries on consumer goods in 2010.
#expenditure #countries #consumer #goods
the graph provides information about the spending of countries
such
 as France and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 on consumer goods in 2010
consists
Wrong verb form
consisting
show examples
 of five different items.
overall
, the data records that the spending
is fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuates
show examples
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 for different items,
while
 in France the consumption is decreasing constantly.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 the biggest spender of consumption among these countries is
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. First of all,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 spent roughly on 3 main items
such
 as cars, books and cameras with
range
Correct article usage
a range
show examples
450.000
Change preposition
of 450.000
show examples
 to 350.000
poundsterling
Correct your spelling
pound sterling
while
 the least money
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
 on cameras
perfume
Correct word choice
and perfume
show examples
 for slightly less
150.000
Change preposition
than 150.000
show examples
poundsterling
Correct your spelling
pound sterling
pounds sterling
.
Secondly
, French people spent most on cars
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
400.000
poundsterling
Correct your spelling
pound sterling
, followed by computers, perfume, and cameras with each item disparity on spending about 130.000
poundsterling
Correct your spelling
pound sterling
pounds sterling
.
Submitted by imsarunn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such, while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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