IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people say though indusial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people orgue that industrial growth is cooling environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views ond, give your opinion.

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Introduction
There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of views seems that
manufucture
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
development
Use synonyms
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 bad efforts in the
environment
Use synonyms
. On the other
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
 there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 people who argue that and
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 poverty. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will
discusse
Correct your spelling
discuss
 these two different views and illustrate some
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand, the improvement of
industrial
Replace the word
industry
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 people to find
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in the company.
Its
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 people more work and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
more
Correct pronoun usage
them more
show examples
opportunitis
Correct your spelling
opportunities
opportunity
 to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better work and
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 comfortable life. The
development
Use synonyms
 in
industrial help
Replace the word
industry helped
show examples
 to give the good life.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
envirnment
Correct your spelling
environment
 is more important to have the
gurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 to continue in
these life
Change the determiner
this life
these lives
show examples
. The
development
Use synonyms
 of
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 and
manfacture
Correct your spelling
manufacture
 is
effect
Add an article
the effect
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
; the
exauset
Correct your spelling
exhaust
 fumes
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from
this
Linking Words
 machine
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increase air pollution and it may increase global warming.
However
Linking Words
, the
environment
Use synonyms
 is more
nessery
Correct your spelling
necessary
 than
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more
development
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
Linking Words
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end, I think there is
nessery
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to make cope with
industerial
Correct your spelling
industrial
development
Use synonyms
 and
safing
Correct your spelling
saving
 the
environment
Use synonyms
 and I see
this
Linking Words
responsibilitis
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsibilities
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 for the government.

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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, with ideas not flowing smoothly from one to the next. To improve, focus on organizing your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and concluding statements that tie back to the essay prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but are vague and do not adequately frame the essay. Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the points that will be discussed, and the conclusion summarises the arguments and states a clear opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Main points are not sufficiently supported with specific examples or detailed explanations. Enhance your essay by including relevant examples and fully explaining how they support your points.
Task Achievement
The response does not fully address all parts of the task. The comparison between industrial growth and environmental concerns is mentioned, but not discussed in depth. Furthermore, the discussion lacks balance, and there is no clear opinion stated until the conclusion. To improve, make sure to address all parts of the task equally and provide a clear opinion throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Ideas about industrial growth and environmental issues are mentioned, but they are not clear or comprehensive. To improve, expand on these ideas, clarify your stance, and discuss both viewpoints robustly.
Task Achievement
The essay does not include enough relevant or specific examples to support the arguments. To improve your score in this area, incorporate specific, detailed examples that clearly relate to the prompt and your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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