Some people say though indusial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people orgue that industrial growth is cooling environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views ond, give your opinion.
There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
alot
of views seems that Correct your spelling
a lot
manufucture
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
development
make
bad efforts in the Change the verb form
makes
environment
. On the other side
there Add a comma
side,
is
people who argue that and Change the verb form
are
said
it Wrong verb form
say
help
Change the verb form
helps
to
poverty. In Change preposition
with
this
essay
I will Add a comma
essay,
discusse
these two different views and illustrate some Correct your spelling
discuss
example
.
On one hand, the improvement of Fix the agreement mistake
examples
industrial
Replace the word
industry
help
people to find Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
job
in the company. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Its
Correct pronoun usage
It
make
people more work and Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
more
Correct pronoun usage
them more
opportunitis
to have Correct your spelling
opportunities
opportunity
a
better work and Correct article usage
apply
more
comfortable life. The Correct article usage
a more
development
in industrial help
to give the good life.
Replace the word
industry helped
On the other hand
, the envirnment
is more important to have the Correct your spelling
environment
gurantee
to continue in Correct your spelling
guarantee
these life
. The Change the determiner
this life
these lives
development
of machine
and Fix the agreement mistake
machines
manfacture
is Correct your spelling
manufacture
effect
the Add an article
the effect
environment
; the exauset
fumes Correct your spelling
exhaust
it
from Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
machine is
increase air pollution and it may increase global warming. Unnecessary verb
apply
However
, the environment
is more nessery
than Correct your spelling
necessary
get
more Verb problem
apply
development
.
At
the end, I think there is Change the preposition
In
nessery
to make cope with Correct your spelling
necessary
industerial
Correct your spelling
industrial
development
and safing
the Correct your spelling
saving
environment
and I see this
responsibilitis
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsibilities
is
for the government.Correct your spelling
as
Submitted by kazza735 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, with ideas not flowing smoothly from one to the next. To improve, focus on organizing your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and concluding statements that tie back to the essay prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but are vague and do not adequately frame the essay. Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the points that will be discussed, and the conclusion summarises the arguments and states a clear opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Main points are not sufficiently supported with specific examples or detailed explanations. Enhance your essay by including relevant examples and fully explaining how they support your points.
Task Achievement
The response does not fully address all parts of the task. The comparison between industrial growth and environmental concerns is mentioned, but not discussed in depth. Furthermore, the discussion lacks balance, and there is no clear opinion stated until the conclusion. To improve, make sure to address all parts of the task equally and provide a clear opinion throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Ideas about industrial growth and environmental issues are mentioned, but they are not clear or comprehensive. To improve, expand on these ideas, clarify your stance, and discuss both viewpoints robustly.
Task Achievement
The essay does not include enough relevant or specific examples to support the arguments. To improve your score in this area, incorporate specific, detailed examples that clearly relate to the prompt and your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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