Some people say though indusial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people orgue that industrial growth is cooling environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views ond, give your opinion.

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There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

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alot
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a lot

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of views seems that
manufucture
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manufacturing

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development
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make
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makes

The plural verb make does not appear to agree with the singular subject manufucture development. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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bad efforts in the
environment
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. On the other
side
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side,

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there
is
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are

The singular verb form is does not seem to agree with the plural subject people who argue that and said it help to poverty. Consider changing the verb form.

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people who argue that and
said
Wrong verb form
say

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb said. Consider changing it.

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it
help
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helps

The verb help does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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poverty. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay
Add a comma
essay,

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I will
discusse
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discuss

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these two different views and illustrate some
example
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examples

It seems that example may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. On one hand, the improvement of
industrial
Replace the word
industry

The word industrial doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps

It seems that the verb help does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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people to find
job
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jobs

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in the company.
Its
Correct pronoun usage
It

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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes

It seems that the verb make does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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people more work and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives

It seems that the verb give does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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more
Correct pronoun usage
them more

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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opportunitis
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opportunities
opportunity

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to have
a
Correct article usage
apply

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better work and
more
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a more

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comfortable life. The
development
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
industrial help
Replace the word
industry helped

The word industrial help doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to give the good life.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
envirnment
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environment

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is more important to have the
gurantee
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guarantee

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to continue in
these life
Change the determiner
this life
these lives

It appears that the plural demonstrative these is modifying the singular noun life. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

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. The
development
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines

It seems that machine may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
manfacture
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manufacture

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is
effect
Add an article
the effect

The noun phrase effect seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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the
environment
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

; the
exauset
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exhaust

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fumes
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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from
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

machine
is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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increase air pollution and it may increase global warming.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
environment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is more
nessery
Correct your spelling
necessary

If you don’t want nessery to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

than
get
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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more
development
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

At
Change the preposition
In

The preposition At may be incorrect. Consider changing it to a different preposition.

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the end, I think there is
nessery
Correct your spelling
necessary

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to make cope with
industerial
Correct your spelling
industrial

If you don’t want industerial to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

development
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
safing
Correct your spelling
saving

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the
environment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and I see
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

responsibilitis
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsibilities

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is
Correct your spelling
as

The word is doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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for the government.
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, with ideas not flowing smoothly from one to the next. To improve, focus on organizing your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and concluding statements that tie back to the essay prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but are vague and do not adequately frame the essay. Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the points that will be discussed, and the conclusion summarises the arguments and states a clear opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Main points are not sufficiently supported with specific examples or detailed explanations. Enhance your essay by including relevant examples and fully explaining how they support your points.
Task Achievement
The response does not fully address all parts of the task. The comparison between industrial growth and environmental concerns is mentioned, but not discussed in depth. Furthermore, the discussion lacks balance, and there is no clear opinion stated until the conclusion. To improve, make sure to address all parts of the task equally and provide a clear opinion throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Ideas about industrial growth and environmental issues are mentioned, but they are not clear or comprehensive. To improve, expand on these ideas, clarify your stance, and discuss both viewpoints robustly.
Task Achievement
The essay does not include enough relevant or specific examples to support the arguments. To improve your score in this area, incorporate specific, detailed examples that clearly relate to the prompt and your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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