Nowadays, women have full-time work same as men, logically men should share household equally with women. To what extent do . you agree or disagree?

#women #work #men #household

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At present, there are many

women

have

Correct pronoun usage

who have

show examples

full-time employment that

Correct your spelling

show examples

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

men

, logically

men

should engage in doing chores

together with

their

wife

Fix the agreement mistake

wives

show examples

fairly. I agree

men

should

housework

with

women

but not

equally. It is true that

men

Wrong verb form

sharing

show examples

housework

with

women

will promote mutual affection between couples, because

men

and

women

embark

Wrong verb form

embarking

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

doing

housework

will promote their communication and teamwork, which means they will gain mutual company and trust.

For example

, as for those couples who have full-time

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

, the time of doing

housework

is a rare opportunity that they can talk face to face.

Therefore

men

Wrong verb form

sharing

show examples

chores with

women

would encourage intimate family

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

However

, it is illogical that divide the

housework

equally between

men

and

women

, because

men

and

women

have different qualities and talents, which means

men

and

women

will take on different types

jobs

Change preposition

of jobs

show examples

For example

, the majority of

men

embark

Change preposition

show examples

manual

labors

Fix the agreement mistake

labor

show examples

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

women

undertake clerical

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

. In

this

case,

Although

men

and

women

both have full-time work, their level of fatigue is different and

men

’s work is harder than

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

. As for those manual

labors

Replace the word

labourers

show examples

, it is unreasonable

that

Change preposition

show examples

undertake

Remove the article

apply

show examples

half of

those

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

housework

when they feel exhausted in both body and mind after a

tiring

Replace the word

tire

show examples

. So dividing

housework

equally between

women

and

men

illogically

Replace the adverb

illogical

show examples

. In conclusion, I agree

men

should help their

wife

Fix the agreement mistake

wives

show examples

to do a part of

housework

because

this

is beneficial to their intimate

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

. But it is illogical that

men

should

household

Add an article

a household

the household

show examples

with

women

eaually

Correct your spelling

equally

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

Men

and

women

differ in the nature and degree of

hardship

Add an article

the hardship

show examples

of their work.

Submitted by 2434286796 on Sat Jan 13 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay needs more development in terms of task response. The prompt asks you to discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with men sharing household chores equally with women, but your argument is not fully explored. It is important to present a balanced view that addresses both sides of the argument comprehensively. Be sure to illustrate your points with specific examples and elaboration for a complete response.

Coherence and Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, you should work on structuring your essay more logically. The paragraphs are arranged in an understandable manner, but transitions between ideas can be smoother, and the overall progression of ideas could be more coherent. Try to use a wider range of linking phrases and topic sentences that clearly relate to the central topic of the paragraph, ensuring each paragraph flows naturally from one to the next.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender equality
mutual respect
work-life balance
traditional gender roles
equitable distribution
shared responsibilities
modern values
child development
physical and mental load
household chores
stereotypes
fairness
conflict resolution
responsibility sharing
collaborative effort

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Nowadays, women have full-time work same as men, logically men should share household equally with women. To what extent do . you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your local newspaper had an advertisement asking people to help with environmental projects in your area. Write a letter to the project manager to offer your help. Describe a local environmental issue Explain how you can help Suggest how to avoid the problem in future

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.