Nowadays, women have full-time work same as men, logically men should share household equally with women. To what extent do . you agree or disagree?

#women #work #men #household

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At present, there are many

women

Use synonyms

have

Correct pronoun usage

who have

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full-time employment that

Correct your spelling

show examples

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

men

Use synonyms

, logically

men

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should engage in doing chores

together with

Linking Words

their

wife

Fix the agreement mistake

wives

show examples

fairly. I agree

men

Use synonyms

should

Use synonyms

housework

Use synonyms

with

women

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but not

Use synonyms

equally. It is true that

men

Use synonyms

Wrong verb form

sharing

show examples

housework

Use synonyms

with

women

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will promote mutual affection between couples, because

men

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and

women

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embark

Wrong verb form

embarking

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

doing

housework

Use synonyms

will promote their communication and teamwork, which means they will gain mutual company and trust.

For example

Linking Words

, as for those couples who have full-time

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

, the time of doing

housework

Use synonyms

is a rare opportunity that they can talk face to face.

Therefore

Linking Words

men

Use synonyms

Wrong verb form

sharing

show examples

chores with

women

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would encourage intimate family

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

However

Linking Words

, it is illogical that divide the

housework

Use synonyms

equally between

men

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and

women

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, because

men

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and

women

Use synonyms

have different qualities and talents, which means

men

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and

women

Use synonyms

will take on different types

jobs

Change preposition

of jobs

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, the majority of

men

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embark

Change preposition

show examples

manual

labors

Fix the agreement mistake

labor

show examples

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

women

Use synonyms

undertake clerical

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

case,

Although

Linking Words

men

Use synonyms

and

women

Use synonyms

both have full-time work, their level of fatigue is different and

men

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’s work is harder than

Use synonyms

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

. As for those manual

labors

Replace the word

labourers

show examples

, it is unreasonable

that

Change preposition

show examples

undertake

Remove the article

apply

show examples

half of

those

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

housework

Use synonyms

when they feel exhausted in both body and mind after a

tiring

Replace the word

tire

show examples

. So dividing

housework

Use synonyms

equally between

women

Use synonyms

and

men

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illogically

Replace the adverb

illogical

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. In conclusion, I agree

men

Use synonyms

should help their

wife

Fix the agreement mistake

wives

show examples

to do a part of

housework

Use synonyms

because

this

Linking Words

is beneficial to their intimate

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

. But it is illogical that

men

Use synonyms

should

Use synonyms

household

Add an article

a household

the household

show examples

with

women

Use synonyms

eaually

Correct your spelling

equally

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

Men

Use synonyms

and

women

Use synonyms

differ in the nature and degree of

hardship

Add an article

the hardship

show examples

of their work.

Submitted by 2434286796 on Sat Jan 13 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay needs more development in terms of task response. The prompt asks you to discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with men sharing household chores equally with women, but your argument is not fully explored. It is important to present a balanced view that addresses both sides of the argument comprehensively. Be sure to illustrate your points with specific examples and elaboration for a complete response.

Coherence and Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, you should work on structuring your essay more logically. The paragraphs are arranged in an understandable manner, but transitions between ideas can be smoother, and the overall progression of ideas could be more coherent. Try to use a wider range of linking phrases and topic sentences that clearly relate to the central topic of the paragraph, ensuring each paragraph flows naturally from one to the next.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender equality
mutual respect
work-life balance
traditional gender roles
equitable distribution
shared responsibilities
modern values
child development
physical and mental load
household chores
stereotypes
fairness
conflict resolution
responsibility sharing
collaborative effort

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Nowadays, women have full-time work same as men, logically men should share household equally with women. To what extent do . you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some countries, it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Is this a positive or negative development?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Young people committing crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

Improvement in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?