Blood sports (any spots involving Killing or shedding of blood as bull fighting, cockfighting or hunting)have become hot topic for debate in recent years.as society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed.blood sports should be banned.TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE
Nowadays, some people think that all creatures like
animals
can be deployed to entertain the
society even by designing some sports programs that may injure the Correct article usage
apply
animals
. Although
such
a program may have a special audience, I strongly believe that this
should be ceased immediately. In this
essay, the reasons which I rely on are presented. Also
, some concluding remarks are given afterwards.
In developed countries, what an overwhelming majority of society follows is paving the way for a peaceful life of humans, animals
and an environment like plants, simultaneously. This
sort of situation in which the lives of innocent animals
are targeted, poses a serious risk to such
a peaceful coexistence. It not only may run a risk of losing endangered species,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
broadcast some scenes which are detrimental to children's further
behaviours. If this
kind of harshness and rudeness fosters and spreads, some uncontrollable misbehaviours will be experienced , unfortunately.
Concurrent with stopping these sorts of programs, people in particular
youngsters should be trained to respect other living breeds like animals
and plants. This
learning process and related studies which could be beneficial to the mentioned attitude have to be conducted by authorities and results should be tracked continuously.
To conclude
, nobody is allowed to harm either animals
or plants in developed countries. In this
regard, both the eradication of enjoying programs which injure animals
and the buildingof
a culture of coexistence for people of all age ranges have to be taken into account by governors.Correct your spelling
building of
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Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear position throughout the response, but only partially covers the prompt as it does not fully address the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the banning of blood sports. It is crucial to directly answer the question and explore both sides of the argument, even if the conclusion leans towards one side.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a fair use of cohesive devices, yet there is room for improvement in how ideas are logically connected and paragraphed. Paragraphs should be used strategically to separate main ideas, and transitions should guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next. Supporting examples could be more specific, illustrating arguments with concrete details to enhance persuasion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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