Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People have different views about whether we had better do nothing about the bad circumstances in
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
or money or
we
Correct word choice
whether we
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should strive to sharpen
such
circumstances. I believe that people ought to fight for their lives and
evaporate
Verb problem
avoid
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adverse
situations
. On the one hand, bad
situations
should be counteracted
otherwise
they lead us to
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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deterioration. if people don’t implement anything in order to solve their problems at work, they will be exploited.
In other words
, you may have to bear
heavy
Add an article
a heavy
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workload, low salaries, and do something that isn't involved
your
Change preposition
in your
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responsibility
Such
as cleaning the workplace.
For example
, my sister has worked in a company which expected overtime
whereas
it pays a minor salary.
Moreover
, accepting these
situations
causes not only makes you an introverted person but
also
deppression
Correct your spelling
depression
in the long term.
As a result
. when we acknowledge bad conditions, we may encounter
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
worse
situations
in our lives, and we had better deter them.
On the other hand
, In my opinion, individuals should struggle to improve their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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it is
a
Correct article usage
the
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nature of humans to fight for optimal life. Everyone doesn't have to live in adverse
situations
.
Thus
, we should try different ways to change
situations
until we benefit from them. By way of example, a couple of years ago I worked in a studio where staff
were behaved
Change to the active voice
behaved
have behaved
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impolitely and they weren’t satisfied with their income. I encouraged them to express their complaints and required more salaries and did not implement their responsibility until they were assured about the result.
This
idea helped us give our entitled salaries and increased our self-esteem and happiness. In conclusion, I believe that sitting and doing nothing just will make everything worse than before. We should try to improve
situations
that cause our redemption.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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task achievement
While your essay does discuss both sides of the argument and offers a clear opinion, it would benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly respond to the task prompt. Make sure each paragraph directly addresses the prompt in a way that is unmistakably clear to the reader.
coherence cohesion
The logical progression of ideas could be enhanced through the clearer development of points and the use of more cohesive devices to link ideas both within and between paragraphs. Aim for smooth transitions that guide the reader through your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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