IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

the diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

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The picture
detail
Correct subject-verb agreement
details
show examples
 the several steps and some devices to
Use synonyms
production
Replace the word
produce
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cement
Use synonyms
 and after that,
Use synonyms
production
Correct article usage
the production
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concrete
Change preposition
of concrete
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 from produced
cement
Use synonyms
. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
production
Use synonyms
cement
Use synonyms
 is used
almost
Change preposition
in almost
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 five stages and in the later step, produced
cement
Use synonyms
 is mixtured with some ingredients for
Use synonyms
production
Add an article
the production
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 of
cement
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, limestone and clay put on the surface screens to
are become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
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 powder through
crusher
Add an article
the crusher
a crusher
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. After that, they transferred to
mixture
Add an article
the mixture
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 for mixing together. In the next stage,
while
Linking Words
 fire
flow
Correct subject-verb agreement
flows
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 into the rotating heater, the mixed material
passed
Add a missing verb
is passed
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 on and poured
on
Change preposition
onto
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 the flat screen. Ingredients passed into
grinder
Add an article
the grinder
a grinder
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 and
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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become
cement
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, produced
cement
Use synonyms
 is packaged. As can be seen, in the next step, to
production
Use synonyms
 concrete, produced
cement
Use synonyms
 with some additional materials, as water, sand, and gravel, are mixed with appropriate
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 in the Concrete mixer,
withe
Correct your spelling
with
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 15%, 10%, 25%, and 50%, respectively.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words production, cement with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • construction
  • cement-making
  • raw materials
  • crushing
  • mixing
  • heating
  • grinding
  • cement powder
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • concrete
  • versatility
  • strength
  • aggregate
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