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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph shows the number of books borrowed from four libraries in the mouths of June, July, August and September of

The line graph shows the number of books borrowed from four libraries in the mouths of June, July, August and September of
#line #books #four #libraries #mouths #june #september
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the line chart illustrates the total number of books borrowed from four libraries between
Use synonyms
june
Change the capitalization
June
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 and
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september
Change the capitalization
September
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. west eaton and church mount have the lowest number of borrowed books in
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june
Change the capitalization
June
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and
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september
Change the capitalization
September
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, they all experience a steady increase from
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june
Change the capitalization
June
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 to
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september
Change the capitalization
September
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. ryeslip has
highest
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the highest
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 quantity for
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june
Change the capitalization
June
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,
thereafter
Linking Words
 there is a steady decline till
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september
Change the capitalization
September
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.
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sutton
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Sutton
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wood
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 has fluctuations throughout the recorded periods. the largest quantity of books borrowed was 300 in
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june
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June
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 and
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september
Change the capitalization
September
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 at
ryeslip
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Ryeslip
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 and
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sutton
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Sutton
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wood
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 respectively. west eaton and church mount had two identical numbers 50 for
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june
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June
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 and 150 for
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september
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September
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 these were
also
Linking Words
 the lowest in those months.
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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Use synonyms
sutton
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Sutton
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wood
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 had variances starting at 250 for
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june
Change the capitalization
June
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,
then
Linking Words
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
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 increase in
july
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July
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there after
Correct your spelling
thereafter
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 plummeting to 100 in
august
Capitalize word
August
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.
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september
Change the capitalization
September
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 had a sharp increase to 300 at joint top recording. in comparison rye slip had a gradual decline from
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june
Change the capitalization
June
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 to
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september
Change the capitalization
September
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,
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 at 300 and ending at 160. in
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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rye slip
Correct your spelling
Rye Slip
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 had the most number of borrowed
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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 between the months followed by
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Change the capitalization
Sutton
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sutton
Correct your spelling
Sutton Wood
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wood
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 ,
west eaton
Correct your spelling
West Eaton
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 comes in third place and
on
Change preposition
in
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last
Linking Words
 position church mount
Submitted by mj on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words june, september, sutton, wood with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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