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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour
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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is child upbringing. Now, people are beginning to realize that penalties for
kids
Use synonyms
 are significant in order to foster them from a young age, making them aware of the distinction between right and wrong.
However
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, personally, I tend to think that punishments are not necessary to teach good
behavior
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behaviour
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 to children.
Firstly
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, it is well known that the majority of
parents
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 believe being strict and punishing
the
Change the word
their
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kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
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 for the consequences of their actions is an appropriate way to mature infants. What I mean here is that
parents
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 often exaggerate, and
due to
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 that, children suffer.
Therefore
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, it might have a drastic impact on their future. Take,
for example
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, the studies conducted by international SME researchers in 2012;
according to
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 them, people who experienced numerous penalties in early childhood
due to
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 strict
parents
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 are unlikely to succeed in sports or education.
On the other hand
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, it can
also
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 be argued that
parents
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 have a vital role in the development of their
kids
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, and they are in charge of the baby's actions. Since growing up,
kids
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 want to be like their
parents
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, and punishing them will undoubtedly be stressful.
Furthermore
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,
kids
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 are sensitive these days, and giving penalties, being rude, or bullying is not a proper way to teach what is wrong or right.
For instance
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, communicating and being supportive to
kids
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 would be more beneficial. Sharing toys, playing, and talking with them are likely to change a child's
behavior
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behaviour
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 and attitude toward the
parents
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. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis, we can say that,
although
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 the importance of punishment in most cultures is undeniable, children could face
the
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its
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 negative effects
of
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apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in the future.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the task. The prompt asks for your opinion on the necessity of punishment, and the sort of punishment that should be allowed. Your response should provide a clear stance on these points.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas with specific examples. Each main point should be supported by evidence or examples that are relevant to the topic at hand.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, aim for a logical sequence of ideas. Ensure that each paragraph naturally follows from its predecessor and leads into its successor through cohesive devices and appropriate transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
Remember to write a clear introduction and conclusion that reflect your overall argument and stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Occasional inaccuracies in lexical choice and grammatical complexity can hinder clarity, so aim for precision in language and increase complexity, where appropriate, to enhance the sophistication of the essay without sacrificing clarity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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