The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this statement?

It is argued that the primary objective of
science
should be
enhanching
Correct your spelling
enhancing
human life.
This
essay completely agrees with that statement. I believe that
science
can improve human life in
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
sector
as well as
in
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
sustainabilty
Correct your spelling
sustainability
sustainable
area. As time goes by, people's expectant life could be longer using
science
's help. For
exampe
Correct your spelling
example
,
science
helps us to discover drugs and
vaccine
Fix the agreement mistake
vaccines
show examples
that
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
very significant
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
. Let's say insulin which
is help
Change the verb form
is helping
show examples
people who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
diabetes. As Covid 19 emerges in 2020, we use vaccines.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
science
should be used to
Submitted by samtridortua on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure with well-developed introductory and concluding paragraphs. Your introduction and conclusion were present but lacked clear thesis statements and summaries of the main points of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop and expand on your main points with clarity and depth. Your essay began to address pertinent examples, but they were not fully developed or explained.
Task Achievement
Make sure your essay directly responds to all parts of the task's prompt and provides a complete argument. Your essay needs to more fully explore the statement and provide a more balanced view if you agree or disagree.
Task Achievement
Include clear and specific examples to support your ideas. Examples given were relevant but needed more elaboration to illustrate your argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: