The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Contributing and prospering to the way
people
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
should be the main purpose of
science
.
Although
many would think that sometimes scientific
research
is just experimental,
yet
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apply
show examples
, in fact, I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
previous
Change the article
the previous
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statement
due to
some considerations that I will explain in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, many
people
can, thankfully, live longer
as a result
of the comprehensive scientific
research
that allowed
this
to happen. The case of
Covid-19
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COVID-19
show examples
has proven
us
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to us
show examples
how
science
plays
important
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an important
show examples
role in
the
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apply
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global society. It usually takes years or even decades to develop
curing
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cures
show examples
for important cases, but as
science
became more advanced, the vaccines for
corona virus
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coronavirus
show examples
could be released in a short time and because of it, many
people
’s lives were saved and everything can go back to normal.
Secondly
, everything has
also
became
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become
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easier due the the rapid technology movement in the
last
decade. If the in early 2000s
people
still needed to commute only
for meeting
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to meet
show examples
their colleagues, now we do not even have to work in
office
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an office
show examples
as every supporting
tools
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tool
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already
Add a missing verb
is already
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in our
hand
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hands
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. Zoom,
Whatsapp
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WhatsApp
show examples
, and Instagram
as
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apply
show examples
the concrete
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
people
continue to live a way better life in terms of personally and socially, as
it
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they
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allows
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allow
show examples
us to connect and even
to
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apply
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have
a
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apply
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job
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jobs
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across
the
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apply
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countries. Obviously, all of
this
can only be done after many trials and errors from
the
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apply
show examples
scientific
experiements
Correct your spelling
experiments
in creating devices to make
live
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life
show examples
simpler.
To conclude
, it is undeniable how insanely
science
affects almost every part of our lives. From the time we start the day to when we go back to sleep are highly connected with the sophisticated development of
science
and
research
. In that way, these reasonings can strengthen how agree I am that
ourlives
Correct your spelling
our lives
should be the main goals why scientific
research
is conducted. [304]
Submitted by pink panther on

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Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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