The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Contributing and prospering to the way
people
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
should be the main purpose of
science
.
Although
many would think that sometimes scientific
research
is just experimental,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, in fact, I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
statement
due to
some considerations that I will explain in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, many
people
can, thankfully, live longer
as a result
of the comprehensive scientific
research
that allowed
this
to happen. The case of
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
has proven
us
Change preposition
to us
show examples
how
science
plays
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global society. It usually takes years or even decades to develop
curing
Replace the word
cures
show examples
for important cases, but as
science
became more advanced, the vaccines for
corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
could be released in a short time and because of it, many
people
’s lives were saved and everything can go back to normal.
Secondly
, everything has
also
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
easier due the the rapid technology movement in the
last
decade. If the in early 2000s
people
still needed to commute only
for meeting
Change preposition
to meet
show examples
their colleagues, now we do not even have to work in
office
Correct article usage
an office
show examples
as every supporting
tools
Change to a singular noun
tool
show examples
already
Add a missing verb
is already
show examples
in our
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
show examples
. Zoom,
Whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
show examples
, and Instagram
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the concrete
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
people
continue to live a way better life in terms of personally and socially, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
us to connect and even
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
across
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries. Obviously, all of
this
can only be done after many trials and errors from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific
experiements
Correct your spelling
experiments
in creating devices to make
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
simpler.
To conclude
, it is undeniable how insanely
science
affects almost every part of our lives. From the time we start the day to when we go back to sleep are highly connected with the sophisticated development of
science
and
research
. In that way, these reasonings can strengthen how agree I am that
ourlives
Correct your spelling
our lives
should be the main goals why scientific
research
is conducted. [304]
Submitted by pink panther on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To further improve your Task Achievement score, ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. While your essay presents a clear position, it can be strengthened by providing a more nuanced argument that includes potential counterpoints or broader implications to show balanced reasoning.
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide clear and specific examples to support each main point. While your examples are relevant, they could be further detailed to enhance the depth of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain coherence by organizing your essay with clear paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea. Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs, but be careful not to overuse them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: