IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, A,erican, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019.

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, A,erican, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019.
#hours #chinese #erican #turkish #brazilian #tourists #leisure #activities #holiday #greece
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph shown above illustrated
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
hours
 per day that
tourists
 from China, America, Turkey, and
Brazilian
Replace the word
Brazil
show examples
 spent doing leisure activities
while
 on holiday in Greece, in August 2019. The sequence mentioned before was drawn from left to right in the chart. There are 3
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
 explained, at the beach
colored
Change the spelling
coloured
show examples
 blue, reading books
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 orange, and visiting places pictured in
gray
Change the spelling
grey
show examples
. Reading books
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the leading leisure
activites
Correct your spelling
activity
 done longest by both Chinese and American
tourists
,
although
Correct article usage
the chinese
show examples
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
show examples
 spent 8
hours
, which is 3 more
hours
 than
Correct article usage
the american
show examples
american
Change the capitalization
American
Americans
show examples
.
However
,
brazilian
Change the capitalization
Brazilian
show examples
 and
turkish
Change the capitalization
Turkish
show examples
tourists
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
 most of their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 at the beach, in 6 and 5
hours
 respectively. All four categories spent
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 of their time visiting places. With
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
show examples
tourists
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 most little of their time as less as 1 hour per day. Followed by
brazilian
Change the capitalization
Brazilian
show examples
 in 2
hours
.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 American and Turkish
tourists
,
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 3
hours
 of their day visiting places.
Submitted by aghnia.ulhaq on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, tourists with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: