Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Recently, the phenomenon of
education
has become a heated debate,on one hand
some people believe that Add the comma(s)
hand,
quantety
is Correct your spelling
quantity
imoprtant
,Correct your spelling
important
while
on the other
hand
we see that Add a comma
hand,
guality
is the concern of Correct your spelling
quality
peple
Correct your spelling
people
toward
students.I reckon that Change preposition
about
kowing
less Correct your spelling
knowing
subject
,but in details
is a plus for tutors ,Fix the agreement mistake
detail
also
I intend to discus
both views throughout Correct your spelling
discuss
this
essay .
In the realm of science
the Add a comma
science,
prosses
of learning should be in a Correct your spelling
process
spesific
line Correct your spelling
specific
according to
the students
age . In Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
fact
it is essential to teach them some Add a comma
fact,
ecpesial
Correct your spelling
special
subjet
but in Correct your spelling
subject
details
and let the child learn more Fix the agreement mistake
detail
subject
by the time pass and they Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
became
older inasmuch as Wrong verb form
become
barelt
can they obey district Correct your spelling
barely
barrel
diciplines
in Correct your spelling
disciplines
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
varius
subjects.Correct your spelling
various
This
kind of learning would be an ideal metod
of learning when people are younger .For Correct your spelling
method
instant
, when I was younger I could not learn various issues but as I Add an article
an instant
become
older Wrong verb form
became
The
ability Change the word
My
of learning
different Replace the preposition
to learn
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
get
stronger . Wrong verb form
got
Consequently
, I totally agree that teaching younger have
its own Change the verb form
has
decipline
and rule and we should not be harsh on them by forcing Correct your spelling
discipline
to
learn Correct pronoun usage
them to
varios
Correct your spelling
various
kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
inorder
to prevent hurting them .
From a social stand point the Correct your spelling
in order
proses
of learning can be a Correct your spelling
process
majar
concern of all families Correct your spelling
major
due to
the fact that future
is in Correct article usage
the future
hands
of offspring ;Correct article usage
the hands
therefor
society Correct your spelling
therefore
try
to teach them as Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many subjects
subject
as they can memorise in a spesific
time to boost their maind capacity for learn more Correct your spelling
specific
subject
in future and gain more revenue by their knowledge . Accordingly
some people believe that quantity is the most significant Add a comma
Accordingly,
feacher
in offspring Correct your spelling
factor
edjucation
.
Correct your spelling
education
Consequently
,It is crystal clear that education
is one of the most significant part
of Change to a plural noun
parts
a
Remove the article
apply
child
life ,indeed not only the Change noun form
child's
guantity
but Correct your spelling
quantity
also
the quality of education
would be important ;as a result
despite the diffrence
among Correct your spelling
difference
differences
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
atituade
we should do our best to boost Correct your spelling
attitude
education
in order to garente
future.Correct your spelling
guarantee
Submitted by sajad.bazdar.2012 on
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task achievement
Your essay does not fully address all parts of the task. There is an unclear position throughout the response with an ineffective conclusion that doesn't summarize your main points or restate your opinion clearly. To improve, always address both views of the argument and provide a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay lacks clarity in the logical progression of ideas. There are multiple spelling and grammatical errors as well as misused words ('majer,' 'garente,' 'offspring'), that can impede understanding. Ensure that you use transition words and phrases to help the reader follow your argument. Revise your work to correct errors and improve clarity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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