In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

There is no denying the fact that
due to
the rapid technological revolution, which impacted the
cities
around the world in the first place,
this
huge improvement has encouraged rural people to move to
cities
.
While
it is a commonly held belief that
this
case is a positive
development
, there is
also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that
this
phenomenon is definitely a good
development
.
To begin
with, there are many reasons behind
this
case.
Firstly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technological rapid
development
has impacted
cities
more than rural
places
.
In other words
, it makes different aspects of our lives thrive,
such
as the industry sector.
In addition
,
as a result
of
this
evolvement; various kinds of new opportunities have been established.
For example
, some positions,
which
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related to artificial intelligence have been published with great salaries, and
this
for sure will encourage talented people from rural
places
to move. Another point to consider is that the increasing population in
cities
will make the technological
life-wheel
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life wheel
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rolls
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roll
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over faster. It is
also
possible to say that
this
will help our digital world develop even more.
Moreover
, people will gain a better living level; and more convenient living than in suburbs or villages.
For instance
, it will be more comfortable for you to sit
on
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in
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your office; and program
a
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software rather than standing whole the day under the sun working
in
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on
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a farm.
However
, there are
also
some negatives about leaving rural
places
. There will be a lack of workers on farms,
as well as
there will not be enough
working-hands
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working hands
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to take care of cows and goats, which can be considered
as
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the main resource of milk and its products. In conclusion, there are many positive sides
of
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to
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moving to
cities
, it is
also
true that
this
movement has some negative sides. Personally, I believe that the increasing
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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population in the cityside is a positive
development
,
however
, we should make a balance to make sure we will not affect rural
places
badly.
Submitted by shaymaa.khalaf91 on

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Task Achievement
It's clear you have a position on the topic, but to reach a higher score, you need to ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task with an equal development throughout. For instance, while you do talk about the negative sides of the rural to urban migration, elaborating more on this aspect would create a more balanced discussion and a more complete response to the question posed.
Coherence & Cohesion
You made a fair attempt to organize your ideas logically and each paragraph dealt with a separate main idea. To improve, ensure that your ideas are not only presented but also expanded upon with explanations or examples for clarity and depth. Occasional lapses in coherence occur, but these do not impede comprehension.
Coherence and Cohesion
When supporting your main points, use more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your argument. General statements are less impactful without concrete evidence or illustrations to back them up.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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