The bar chart below gives information about thenumber of studnets studying Computer Science at a UK university between 2010 and 2012
the bar chart illustrates the data about
proportion
of school Add an article
the proportion
students
and comparing betewwn
Correct your spelling
between
Home
and International those who are attending
Computer Science at UK Wrong verb form
attended
unversity
between Correct your spelling
university
a
year Change the article
the
of
2010 and 2012.
Change preposition
apply
Overall
, men from
Change preposition
of
home
British students
was fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
has fluctuated
while
overseas students
was
slightly increased. Unnecessary verb
apply
On the other hand
, women form
Correct your spelling
from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
participating
Verb problem
are
huge
proportion Correct article usage
a huge
than
International Change preposition
of
students
.
To begin
with, in 2010 Home
students
were 39 percentage
from their Replace the word
per cent
home
, whilst 20% for international Fix the agreement mistake
homes
students
. However
, in 2011 they both are the same level at 23% while
home
school learner was droped
. Overseas Correct your spelling
dropped
students
was
increased in 2012 at 34% and Unnecessary verb
apply
home
students
was
top at 43% from the Change the verb form
were
oveall
of men school trainers.
Correct your spelling
overall
On the other hand
, women form
Correct your spelling
from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
was
more Correct subject-verb agreement
were
attractive
to participating in Replace the word
attracted
this
major, start
at 32% in 2010, which huge amount Wrong verb form
starting
different
between overseas and Replace the word
difference
home
kids. whilst, overseas students
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
slghtly
increased Correct your spelling
slightly
to
enrolling Change preposition
apply
Change preposition
on this
this majors
in 2011 and 2012. In Change the determiner
this major
these majors
last
two years, Correct article usage
the last
Home
students
were the
same position Change preposition
in the
at
45 % of Change preposition
as
students
.Submitted by Chaiyapat Soka on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, home with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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