Most countries want to improve the standard of living through economic development, however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that most countries concentrate on promoting the
development
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
economy
Add an article
the economy

The noun phrase economy seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to improve
well-being
Add an article
the well-being

The noun phrase well-being seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of citizens.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

I admit that there might be some negative consequences to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb maintain. Consider changing it.

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social
Add an article
the social

The noun phrase social value seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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value
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trend, I highly agree the benefits of prompting economic
development
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh

It seems that the verb outweighs does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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its drawbacks. I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour

The spelling of favor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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of that economic
development
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Correct your spelling
as

The word is doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the prerequisite to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb maintain. Consider changing it.

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society
Change noun form
society's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

value
Fix the agreement mistake
values

It seems that value may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, which is related to our mindset.
First,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the demand theory of Maslo, only when the basic material needs are met, they
would
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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consider the demand
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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mental
value
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
basic
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food

It seems that foods may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and water can not be ensured in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas

It seems that area may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, local people in poverty might
conduct
Verb problem
commit

There may be a verb use issue here.

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crimes for
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food

It seems that foods may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
to survive. The sense of insecurity makes it hard for them to think about the meaning of social
value
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Second,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

technology has been rapidly upgraded
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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economic
development
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, contributing to lower expenditure for people to buy a cell phone or Television, meaning that it is easy for
government
Add an article
the government

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to spread correct social
value
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

nowadays. Compared to those in
previous
Add an article
the previous

The noun phrase previous period seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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period, young children can be educated
correct
Change preposition
on correct

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
social
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

value
Fix the agreement mistake
values

It seems that value may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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via attractive format when they are scrolling down TikTok videos in the friction of time.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, to maintain and
propaganda
Correct your spelling
propagate

The word propaganda doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
social
value
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, economic
development
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is indispensable.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I understand that critics argue that social
value
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would be lost with rapid economic
development
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Some profit-oriented companies frequently sell unhealthy
foods
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and even counterfeit
foods
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
Correct article usage
the publics
show examples
publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public

It seems that publics may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some fast-food restaurants in China have been complained
by
Change preposition
about by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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consumers about selling pre-progressing eggs, a type of artificial product to public health.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
public
Correct article usage
the public

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector

It seems that sectors may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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might not make investments to build or renovate art-related constructions, which would inevitably bring minimum financial benefits to society.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, artworks in our cities,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
statue
Fix the agreement mistake
statues

It seems that statue may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and some historical buildings, manifest the cultural heritage of our country. Demolishing the buildings to build
skyscraper
Fix the agreement mistake
skyscrapers

It seems that skyscraper may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to promote economic
development
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will do harm to extending our national civilization. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

I understand
only
Correct word choice
that only

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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pursuing economic
development
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to improve
standard
Add an article
the standard

The noun phrase standard seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of living has brought some potential problems, I consider economic
development
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Wrong verb form
to be

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb is. Consider changing it.

show examples
the prerequisite to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb maintain. Consider changing it.

show examples
social
value
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Coherence & Cohesion
You've organized your essay into paragraphs with appropriate transitions which aids the logical flow of the essay. However, to improve the logical structure, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed, rather than introducing several ideas. Keep your writing more focused on one or two main points per paragraph.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, which is good. Nonetheless, the introduction could be enhanced by providing a clearer thesis statement, and the conclusion would benefit from succinctly summarizing your main points rather than adding new ideas or restating the prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your main points are supported with explanations, and occasionally with examples, which is commendable. However, providing more specific, varied examples could strengthen your arguments and support your main points even further.
Task Achievement
Your response to the task is complete; you addressed all parts of the prompt in a balanced way. Remember to maintain this balanced approach throughout your essay to fully satisfy the task achievement criteria.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas on the topic of economic development versus social values, which is excellent. To further improve, make sure that these ideas are consistently relevant to the question throughout the essay, avoiding tangential or loosely related content.
Task Achievement
You have included relevant examples to back up your points which is good, but you could include a wider range of examples, demonstrating the effects of economic development on social values both positively and negatively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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