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Writing Samples
Band 7

WRITING The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Grams per person per week Fish and meat consumption 300 250 200 50 150 大家 Chicken .com Beef 100 Lamb 50 Fish 0 1979 1984 1989 1994 1999 2004

WRITING The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Grams per person per week Fish and meat consumption 300 250 200 50 150 大家 Chicken .com Beef 100 Lamb 50 Fish 0 1979 1984 1989 1994 1999 2004
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The line chart illustrates a European country's consumption of fish, chicken, beef, and lamb from 1979 until 2004. Looking
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the data, chicken is the only kind of meat that has been experiencing a steady growth from over 200
grams
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 in 1979 to up to 250 in 2004.
Moreover
Linking Words
, chicken reached its peak
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around 260
grams
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 1999
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2004. Contrary to the other three
meats
Change the wording
types of meat
slices of meat
lumps of meat
portions of meat
show examples
 that have been always decreasing. Beef started very strong in 1979 with over 200
grams
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
, but drastically decreased until 2004. It is followed by the lamb starting at 150
grams
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 and
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 until about 70
grams
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
. Fish remained in the
last
Linking Words
 position with a fluctuating decrease until 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the consumption of meat in European countries is mostly experiencing a decrease.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the consumption of fish was steadily low from 1979 until 2004.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words grams, person with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
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