IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

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Some
people
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 consider learning
English
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 at school an important thing, more than learning local languages.
However
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,
people
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 should not take for granted the fact that
English
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 is the main way of communication
,
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apply
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 because through
native
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their native
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 tongue it is possible to understand in depth the culture and history of a population. It is known that
the
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apply
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cultural identity has
huge
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a huge
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conection
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connection
 with the
language
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 of
people
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. Considering
this
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 fact, it is important for the maintenance of cultural aspects
keep
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to keep
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youth
Correct article usage
the youth
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 generation learning
local
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the local
a local
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language
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 at school. In Germany, for
instace
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instance
, where there is a huge
liguistic
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linguistic
 variation, many educational institutions in different German states are trying to recover local
dialect
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dialects
show examples
. Researchers in
Linguistic
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the Linguistic
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 field have observed that some aspects of culture and behaviour are getting lost through the years because of the young
people
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, who want to be "modern" and break the
cicle
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cycle
circle
 of
tradition
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traditional
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 learning
English
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.
Thus
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, if you go to Cologne, it is easier to see a child talking in
English
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instead
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 of talking in Kolnish, the local dialect.
Besides
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 that,
language
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 is part of history. Analyzing the
language
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 background of
native
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the native
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 population from
United
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the United
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State
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States
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,
for example
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, it is possible to note that they have
huge
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a huge
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 connection with nature. Many words were created using
names
Correct article usage
the names
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 of plants and animals.
Hence
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, their relationship with the environment is expressed through the way that they speak. Leaving the mother
tong
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tongue
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asaide
Correct your spelling
aside
 to
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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English
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 represents a manner to erase part of their trajectory .
To conclude
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, local languages should be
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
 at school as a tool that helps to maintain
cultural
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the cultural
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 and historical aspects of a population.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should set up the topic and present the writer's viewpoint. The body paragraphs should develop the argument with clear topic sentences and supporting details. The conclusion should summarize the key points and restate the writer's opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay needs to improve upon its logical flow and thought progression. Make sure ideas are organized, and transitions are used effectively between them. Maintain a clear line of argument throughout the essay without digressing from the central topic.
coherence cohesion
Substantiate main points with detailed and relevant examples. Ensure that the argument doesn't just state opinions, but backs them up with clear evidence or scenarios. Avoid making generalizations without adequate support.
task achievement
Address all parts of the prompt. The essay must cover all aspects of the question and present a balanced answer. Ensure that the opinion is clear and the answer complete, leaving no part of the prompt unaddressed.
task achievement
Ideas should be expressed clearly and analyzed comprehensively. Develop arguments in greater depth and provide more intricate details to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Use specific examples to enhance the argument. These examples should be relevant and clearly linked to the main points being made. They can be drawn from personal experience, historical events, or hypothetical situations.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global communication
  • economic opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • endangered
  • linguistic heritage
  • inclusive
  • multilingualism
  • language revitalization
  • language policy
  • language preservation
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