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Writing Samples /
Band 2

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#summarise #information #features #comparisons
The map illustrates the development of Poleham village between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
, the area of Poleham town was changed from an agricultural area to
residential
Correct article usage
a residential
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 location with more houses, retirement
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 and extended school fields.
Firstly
, there were cattle farmlands near the river
stoke
Capitalize word
Stoke
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 and primary school in 1980, which were removed in 2010.
Instead
 of that, housing areas were established in 2010,
however
, the post office remained as it was in 1980. The primary school building is extended with 2 buildings,
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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 gardens with three large houses were exchanged to the retirement home, but some trees were unremoved.
Moreover
, the river bridge which was on the northeast side of the town was unchanged in 2010.
Furthermore
, the
retailing
Replace the word
retail
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 stores were located next to the post office in 1980, which were removed in 2010. The small road was extended to where the shops were located with more houses.
Submitted by zayashdee on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a summary of the changes Poleham village underwent, but it lacks a clear and distinct introduction and conclusion. To improve, begin with an introductory sentence that clearly states the purpose of the essay and end with a concluding statement that encapsulates the main points or highlights the significance of the changes.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to logically organize your ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a distinct aspect of the changes. Use a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly, which will help reinforce the organization and clarity of your essay.
task achievement
While you've described the changes that took place, some specifics are missing or unclear. Make sure to include comparisons where relevant and report on all major features to fully address the task requirements. Be precise in your descriptions, which will enrich the content and demonstrate an understanding of the details of the changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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