IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Some people believe that it would be beneficial if employees worked there or four days per week rather than five or six week days. Why is this? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #employees #four #week #five #six #answers
There is no doubt that some people believe that working four
days
 per week would be more beneficial for employees rather than six
week
Correct your spelling
weekdays
show examples
days
. In
this
 essay, I will
shad
Correct your spelling
shed
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
light on the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 statement. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, the stress of working will be
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
less for employees if they take
Correct article usage
a reset
show examples
reset
Correct your spelling
rest
show examples
 for three
days
.
For example
, the
powerful
Replace the word
power
show examples
 of working will
be increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 after they
are taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 a reset for three
days
 and will
coming
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 will a good mood.
On the other hand
, if you don't have enough time for rest, you will
feeling
Change the verb form
feel
be feeling
show examples
 more
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
 and will not work well and
don't
Correct your spelling
won't
finished
Change the form of the verb
finish
show examples
 the duties of your job. Another reason is
Submitted by m on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your essay lacks a proper conclusion which is essential for a good structure.
coherence cohesion
Maintain logical sequencing of information and make clear connections between your points. Use cohesive devices effectively to improve the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. Your essay lacks specific examples to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
Complete the essay by fully addressing the prompt. You did not finish your last sentence or provide a closing argument, which leaves the essay incomplete.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are both clear and comprehensive, expanding on them sufficiently for the argument to be understood.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: