IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some companies and organisations require thier employees to wear uniforms. What are advantages and disadvantage of this ?

#companies #organisations #thier #employees #uniforms
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Co-operate sectors, organisations, and industries are
Use synonyms
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
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 where people
work
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 collectively in groups. At job sites, major tasks are divided into numerous sections and sub-sections. At some workplaces,
employees
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 are recognised by the uniform
that is
Linking Words
 given to them by their employers.Wearing
uniforms
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 at
work
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 has advantages and disadvantages.
As if
Correct word choice
If
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 an employee is working 9 hours of his job on his computer in the office,
such
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 an employee does not need a particular dress for his
work
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. These types of
employees
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 can wear any formal or decent attire as long as it suits their working space.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having specific
uniforms
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 for office
workers
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 in companies can create a boring atmosphere in offices, which can directly affect the
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workers
Change to a genitive case
worker's
workers'
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work
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 efficiency.
Uniforms
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 should only be mandatory for
employees
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 who are working in heavy-duty industries,
for instance
Linking Words
, automotive, steel, and manufacturing companies. In these types of situations,
workers
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 perform dangerous and risky tasks in an extremely hazardous environment. For the safety of these
workers
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, specific
uniforms
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 should be provided to them. These suites may be expensive for companies, but human life protection is more important. It is observed that, in many industries,
workers
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 are provided with helmets, safety gloves, glasses, shoes, and fire-proof jackets.In summary, I think there is no need for
uniforms
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 for the
employees
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 doing jobs in the office, but there is a need for safety
uniforms
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 for the
employees
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 working in industry.
Submitted by khatrisumeet400 on

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task achievement
Task response could be improved by providing a more balanced approach with equal discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of uniforms in the workplace. Both perspectives should be explored thoroughly to satisfy the task requirements entirely.
coherence cohesion
There is a need for enhanced coherence and cohesion in your essay structure. Organize your ideas more systematically by using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea. Likewise, employ a range of cohesive devices to help the reader understand the relationship between ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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