Some people say that history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some believe that
history
plays a significant role in
students
’ life compared to other
school
subjects
,
while
others think that
science
and
technology
play
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
a more important role these days. In my opinion,
history
is not as
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
important as
science
and
technology
, and I will discuss my reason below. There is a
group
of people who
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
that being informed about
history
is more important than other
school
subjects
for
students
as it looks to the past / provides insights into the past. Actually,
history
is about our ancestors, their values and lifestyles, to which being familiar can help
students
to gain traditional and moral values.
History
also
has many things to say about the reasons for or the consequences of choices which were
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
made in the past. It is exactly what can broaden
students
’ horizons and lead them to make better decisions.
Thus
, studying has a significant/far-reaching effect on their lives.
On the other hand
, another
group
believes I believe that
students
need insights about the future more than the past. Knowing about
science
and
technology
provides
this
insight because these are new topics/
subjects
in our today’s world, about which increasing skills and knowledge
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
us to deal effectively with
this
new world. Since advances in
technology
or multitask multidisciplinary
science
are not the
subjects
that we can find information about in
history
,
thus
learning about
history
may not be useful / does not seem useful.
For instance
, working with computers, which is a fundamental part of every office nowadays, is really mentally
intellectually
Correct word choice
and intellectually
show examples
demanding and cannot be found anything when learning about
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
history
.
Therefore
, if
students
are not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
equipped with modern knowledge or skills, they will not be able to be successful after
school
and in the future. In my opinion, the idea of
this
group
is more sensible and I agree with them.
To sum up
, there are two groups of people who argue about the important
school
subjects
.
Although
one
group
thinks that
history
should be the top priority in schools since it has many lessons to teach, another
group
including me is against them and
consider
Correct subject-verb agreement
considers
show examples
science
and
technology
more important because our modern world is built based on these
subjects
.
Submitted by Raeisinarges1995 on

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task achievement
The introductory paragraph needs to be expanded to fully address the topic and present a clear thesis statement indicating your position. This will ensure a strong foundation for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and clearly states your stance. A conclusion is fundamental to providing closure and a final perspective on the topic under discussion.
task achievement
Improve the structure of body paragraphs by offering clear topic sentences and supporting them with detailed examples. This will help to strengthen the arguments and make them more convincing to the reader.
coherence cohesion
The use of transitional phrases and clear paragraphing could be enhanced to improve the logical flow of ideas. Coherence could be improved this way.
coherence cohesion
Subject-verb agreement errors and other grammatical issues need to be diligently reviewed and corrected to avoid unnecessary mistakes.
task achievement
Expand on examples and evidence provided to support your main points. This will make your arguments more robust and cogent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical perspective
  • Analytical skills
  • Contextual understanding
  • Technological advancements
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Job market
  • Climate crisis
  • Cultural identity
  • Critical thinking
  • Humanities
  • Contemporary issues
  • Integration
  • Tech-savvy
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