Most countries want to improve the standard of living through economic development, however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
For a long time, economic
development
has played a significant role around the whole world, some people think, want to
improvement
Replace the word
improve
show examples
the standard of living
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
through economic
development
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
people believe that social values
lost
Add a missing verb
are lost
show examples
as a
result
.
This
essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of economic
development
. There are a number of benefits of
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
show examples
economic
development
. First and foremost, with regard to the advantages it is seen that economic
development
can
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
cause positive in most countries. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
provides the several from remain to
level
Add an article
a level
show examples
high in
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
.
For example
,
standard
Add an article
the standard
show examples
of living in
Correct article usage
a development
show examples
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
economy country is easy.
In addition
, economic growth helps improve social value.
For instance
, forming economic growth from through society.
To sum up
, because of these factors is clear that there are several benefits of economic
development
as a
result
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
show examples
social value. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, there are
also
several disadvantages
social
Change preposition
to social
show examples
value
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
lost
as a
result
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
development
country.
To begin
with, because in effect on environment problem. To illustrate, there are
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
from
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
air pollution
also
from through change climate.
As a
result
of these aspects, it is apparent that there are several drawbacks of economic
development
as was clearly outlined in
this
essay. In conclusion, it is evident
this
essay highlighted on positive impact and negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
of economic
development
in most
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
. In my opinion, the advantages greatly outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by amal.aljohani94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part should serve its purpose, with the introduction setting the stage, the body paragraphs presenting arguments and examples, and the conclusion summarizing and restating your position.
development
Develop your main points with clear explanations and relevant examples. The essay needs to expand on the arguments by providing specific evidence or illustrations to strengthen the claims made.
cohesive devices
Connect your ideas smoothly by using a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences for each paragraph to signal the subject to the reader.
task response
Address all parts of the task to provide a balanced argument and cover the prompt completely to reflect a full understanding of the question.
clarity
Make your ideas clear and easy to understand. Avoid confusion by not mixing arguments within the same paragraph and try to explain your thoughts comprehensively.
examples
Provide more relevant, detailed examples to back up your points. The lack of supporting detail made it difficult to fully understand the impact or significance of your arguments.
grammar
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range, and work on sentence structure, as sentences should be well-constructed and error-free.
vocabulary
Expand your lexical resource by using a wider variety of vocabulary and avoiding repetition.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: