In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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There is no denying the fact that in our modern life,
advertisement
campaigns have become crucial.
While
it is a commonly held belief that emphasising that the
products
are new is essential, there is
also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that, as a customer, I would like to buy new
products
rather than old ones, so emphasising that
products
are new in an
advertisement
will encourage people to buy them.
To begin
with, there are many reasons behind
this
trend.
Firstly
, as a human's nature, people more often tend to buy new things.
In other words
, if you see an
advertisement
about
Change preposition
for
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some new
products
Fix the agreement mistake
product
show examples
, that will encourage you to search
about
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for
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it and buy it.
In addition
,
customers
usually do not trust sellers, so sellers are always in a place where they are forced to build trust with their
customers
.
for example
, two months ago, I watched an
advertisement
for a cleaning robot, it was
such
a strange product for me, but when the seller gave me a two-year warranty, I trusted him and bought that robot. In terms of the disadvantages, product owners, in some cases, exaggerate in their advertisements. So,
customers
should be conscious,
then
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that
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they will not be cheat victims. In conclusion, there are many reasons that may force
businesses
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business
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owners to emphasise that their
products
are new in their advertisements. It is
also
true that there is a place for cheating, so
customers
should realize that and be careful when they follow any
advertisement
.
Submitted by shaymaa.khalaf91 on

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coherence cohesion
You should aim to present clear arguments with distinguishable main ideas for each paragraph. The current structure has room for improvement in allowing a smoother flow of ideas and better paragraphing for logical structure. Dedicate separate paragraphs to different points, ensuring each has a clear topic sentence and fully developed argument.
coherence cohesion
While you provide an overview of the topic and conclusion, the essay would benefit from a more explicit thesis statement and recapitulation of your main points in the conclusion for greater impact. It is vital to ensure that your introduction and conclusion encapsulate the essence of your argument clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your main points could be better supported with specific examples and evidence. Instead of general statements, use precise situations, studies or statistical data to back up your arguments. This gives your essay more authority and a deeper level of engagement with the topic.
task achievement
You have addressed the task but there are opportunities to delve deeper into the reasoning behind the trend and its subsequent effects. By providing a thorough explanation and considering various perspectives, you would achieve a richer response. Moreover, do not digress into areas that are not directly related to the task.
task achievement
Elaborate your ideas more comprehensively, ensuring you provide a balanced discussion that explores both sides of the argument with a clear personal stance. This will demonstrate an ability to engage critically with the topic.
task achievement
Make sure to incorporate relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points. Instead of hypothetical or personal anecdotes, select examples that are widely relatable and support the argument in a broader context.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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