IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.

The two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.
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the two pie charts illustrate some implementation patterns in great
britain
Change the capitalization
Britain
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 in 1992. More
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 chose Non-manual
employment
Use synonyms
.On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand indicators of manual and non-manual
employment
Use synonyms
 for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 was almost equal.
For instance
Linking Words
,the
percentage
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 indicator of non-manual
employment
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 in
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 was 69 per
cent
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 and of these percentages
twenty nine
Add a hyphen
twenty-nine
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 per
cent
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 is managerial and professional , 31 per
cent
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 is clerical or related,
nine
Correct word choice
and nine
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 per
cent
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 is other non-manual.In
comparison
Add a comma
comparison,
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 the
percentage
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 indicator of non-manual in
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 was 48 per
cent
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.
However
Linking Words
,
manual
Add an article
the manual
a manual
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percentage
Use synonyms
 in male
employment
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 is 52 per
cent
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is higher than
female
Correct article usage
the female
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 manual
percentage
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 is
thirty nine
Add a hyphen
thirty-nine
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 per
cent
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.Actually,the
percentage
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 of male indicator
employment
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 is 24 per
cent
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 for craft or similar, two per
cent
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 for general labourers,26 per
cent
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 other
manu
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, percentage, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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