IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.

The two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.
THE TABLE ILLUSTRATES THE INFORMATION ABOUT
PERCENTAGE
Correct article usage
THE PERCENTAGE
show examples
 OF
LAST
Linking Words
 YEAR SAME DAY
OVEMIGHT
Correct your spelling
OVERNIGHT
 STAYS IN PUBLIC
ALSO
Linking Words
 PRICES HOSPITALS ( LIKE SAME AUSTRALIAN STATES AS TABLE ABOVE ) AS CAN BE SEEN FROM
TABLE
Correct article usage
THE TABLE
show examples
 , THE SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT INFORMATION ABOUT
TWO
Correct article usage
THE TWO
show examples
 TYPES OF HOSPITALS WHICH IS VARIES CONSIDERABLY . ONE CLEAR EXAMPLE IS NEW SOUTH WALES IN PUBLIC GENERAL HOSPITAL CONSISTS
5,016
Change preposition
OF 5,016
show examples
Use synonyms
PATTERNS
Correct your spelling
PATIENTS
show examples
 IN THEIR HOSPITAL BUT SAME CITY A PRIVATE GENERAL HOSPITAL REPORTED
THAT
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
2,017
PATTERNS
Use synonyms
 OF REPORT.
HOWEVER
Linking Words
,
PATTERNS
Use synonyms
 IS REVERSED WHEN IT COME TO VICTORIA . PUBLIC PSYCHIATRIC IN VICTORIA CITY SHOWS
FIFTY NINE
Add a hyphen
FIFTY-NINE
show examples
 THESE
PATTERNS
Use synonyms
 CHANGED N PRIVATE PSYCHIATRIC REPORTED THAT 188
patterns
Use synonyms
 their own

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words patterns with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: