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Band 4.5

The two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.

The two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.
#two #show #employment #patterns #britain
In 1992
were
Correct pronoun usage
there were
show examples
made
Verb problem
apply
show examples
two pie charts that
consists
Change the verb form
consist
show examples
information
Change preposition
of information
show examples
 about employment
patters
Correct your spelling
patterns
show examples
 in Great
Britan
Correct your spelling
Britain
show examples
. In Great Britain, people worked in manual and non-manual
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. Manual
work
 mostly had
overwhelming
Add an article
an overwhelming
the overwhelming
show examples
 majority of
men
 as
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
chart
 shows that 52% of
men
 worked in craft, general labours and other manual
work
.
By contrast
, non-manual
work
 is
female centered
Correct your spelling
female-centred
show examples
, 69% of women worked in managerial or professional, clerical or other non-manual
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
.
Although
 non-manual
work
 is mostly female
leaded
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, there is
hefty
Add an article
a hefty
show examples
 amount of male too. In non-manual
work
, 36% of
men
 mostly
work
 in
managerial
Add an article
a managerial
show examples
 and professional
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the highest
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 in
male
Add an article
the male
a male
show examples
chart
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 in clerical and other non-manual
work
Add a comma
work,
show examples
 there is
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
 6
percent
 of
men
.
By contrast
, the highest
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of female employees is in clerical or related occupations with 31%.
However
, both male and female charts have the same occupation with the lowest
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of employees, General labourers.
Male
Add an article
The male
show examples
chart
 has
Correct article usage
a mere
show examples
mere
Correct article usage
a mere
show examples
 2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
while
 the female
chart
Add a missing verb
has the
show examples
Correct article usage
a
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 modest 1
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of workers.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, men, chart, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 6 times.
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