Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many are of the opinion that people should take charge of their own eating habits,
however
, some entirely disagree, believing that this
is government
Add an article
the government
a government
who
is Correct pronoun usage
that
resposible
for maintaining healthy diets among citizens. As far as I am concerned I believe that individuals themselves play a Correct your spelling
responsible
vitar
role in that case. Correct your spelling
vital
This
essay will discuss both viewpoints along with
supporting examples.
On one
hand, authorities have a
power to establish general norms regarding food, which eventually
determine Change the article
the
one
's diet and well-being
of citizens. Correct article usage
the well-being
In other words
, whether a certain product is allowed in a country is clearly dictated by a law, and this
undoubtedly shape
Change the verb form
shapes
one
's diet to a significant extent. For example
, Coca Cola
is strictly forbidden in Spain, because it Add a hyphen
Coca-Cola
had
negatively impacted Wrong verb form
has
health
conditions of residents. Correct article usage
the health
As a consequence
of this
rule, Spanish people are now considered the healthiest nation in the world, since their health statistics has
increased considerably only by Correct subject-verb agreement
have
this
one
government decision.
On the other hand
, at the end
of the day
those are individuals who decide what to consume or not, Add a comma
day,
regardelss
any dieting advice. Correct your spelling
regarding
This
is because under no circumstances does anybody else know after eating what we feel our best
than we do. Correct word choice
better
For instance
, even though tomatoes are considered nutritious, never have I felt good after eating them. Therefore
, it is clear that
despite the fact that there might be some specific rules about healthy eating habits, an individual is the most aware of what serves them.
To conclude
, the debate on whether individuals or authorities should be responsible for their diets is multifaceted. Although
the governments are capable of establishing specific rules regarding local food, which significantly contributes to eating habits among
a country, I maintain that those are citizens who Change preposition
in
knows
the best of their preferences and needs.Change the verb form
know
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a clear, logical structure. While the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be enhanced by further clarifying your stance and more effectively summarizing the key points discussed.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the connection and transition between paragraphs to maintain a smoother flow of ideas and add clarity to your argument. It's not enough to just have the information present; it should be smoothly interwoven to guide the reader effortlessly from one point to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and more detailed explanations to strengthen your argument. Vague or insufficiently explained points weaken the overall effectiveness of your essay.
Task Achievement
A complete response to the task requires you to fully address all parts of the question. Ensure that your position regarding the issue is clear throughout the essay, especially in the conclusion.
Task Achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive and easily understood. The essay sometimes presents assertions without ample explanation or justification.
Task Achievement
Using relevant and specific examples is key to illustrating your points. The example of Coca-Cola being banned in Spain is not accurate and detracts from the credibility of your essay. Fact-check and apply genuine, specific examples to strengthen your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example