IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students. Nowadays, new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach?

#lectures #method #numbers #students #technology #approach
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Social
media
 is growing up which has an effect on personal relationships by using social networking sites.
Although
 many point out that
this
 trend can affect communication among
people
.The writer could argue that the benefits for society as a whole overshadow these perceived drawbacks.
Firstly
,the main benefit aspects of using social
media
 to communicate is how convenient the social
platforms
 are.
According to
 networking sites
such
 as Facebook , Instagram and so on,
people
 can stay in touch with
people
 around the world without difficulty and
also
 take advantage of messengers to connect with each other immediately.
For example
, Discord is a game which
people
 around the world use to come closer to others to share their hobbies and
also
 discuss their interests.
In addition
, social
media
also
 helps individuals not to be shy when they are in a talk with their friends or strangers.Social
platforms
 nowadays are developing successfully and
people
 tend to have video calls or chat with their friends rather than face-to-face with each other.
For instance
, individuals can have virtual interactions with
people
 that they have never met before , which can undermine the level of shyness.
On the other hand
,a large number of
people
 feel that social networking sites can lead to a lack of communication among
people
. Through online
platforms
, individuals can connect to others without any direct meetings. These trends easily cause a decrease in the ability to connect, which makes
people
 rely heavily on the
media
 for a long time. In conclusion, social
platforms
 bring various benefits in terms of connection and accessibility.
However
, they do not compensate for the lack of communication that it leads to.
Overall
,social
media
 has a profound impact on the world , especially with the technophile.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
You need to ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the one before it. To improve, create a more defined separation between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, ensuring that each has a distinct purpose and contributes to the overall argument or discussion.
Task Achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task. However, it needs a clearer and more specific thesis statement that precisely outlines the advantages and disadvantages of the technology in teaching. Expand your main points by discussing both these aspects while also providing relevance to the question at hand - the shift from lectures to technology-enabled teaching.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: